Whether you are recovering from an eating disorder, a substance abuse disorder, or self-harm, I am sure we all have similar feelings about the recovery process. Using a crutch makes life so much easier and eventually it becomes a part of your everyday life. Meeting a one-year mark of recovery from my eating disorder, felt strange and unreal. I used to think a one-year mark would make me feel accomplished and free, but it did not. I miss purging and restricting, I miss it all, but at this point I know I should not. I had six relapses and they were all close together, but besides that, I magically refrained from doing those nasty eating habits.
I want to dedicate this article to my clients, who have taught me the lessons I have learned, regarding religion and its impact.
Have you ever wondered if the holidays are not like they used to be? That maybe your younger self enjoyed the holidays more, and not because you were a kiddo? I wonder about this a lot, and I think most of it has to do with our expectations that the holidays bring. When I was growing up, I wrote letters to Santa, put out milk and cookies, and attempted to stay awake to sneak downstairs and spy on Santa Claus. It was exciting, and a joyful environment to be around. I realize not many people celebrate Christmas, but I know this thought extends to more than any religious holiday.
When I was around ten-years-old, I vaguely remember refraining from eating often and purging after I did eat. I grew up in a controlling environment where I could not properly manage to come to terms with my stress and find ways to relieve it. Those of you that understand what an eating disorder entails, knows that it is not just about your stress load. I kept my eating disorder a secret, but I did not realize exactly what I was doing to myself. I started purging in the shower, because I was able to hide it and do it quickly, which made me want to do it even more. I started skipping lunches and giving my lunches away to my friends, if only any of them knew what was going on. Around this time my body started slimming up rapidly, but most people thought it was due to early puberty and physical activity.
College has been very stressful thus far, but I am sure that you can avoid that with some helpful tips!