Alan John
Bio
I'm a Virginia based writer/musician looking to find my place in this wild wild world.
Achievements (1)
Stories (58/0)
The art of Discipline
Discipline is rough. My whole life it's something I've tried to develop though I've struggled to actually get anywhere with it. I know the benefits, I believe in the message, but walking it out has been my great dragon to slay. There are areas of life and certain disciplines where it comes more easily to me. Maintaining a workout schedule and routine isn't very hard for me, but going to bed at eleven o'clock is. As a Christian, someone who's passionate about what he believes in, everyone expects me to read the Bible… well, religiously. I think they expect me to have it built into my daily routine, but the truth is it's just like all the other disciplines. Even a gym schedule can be difficult.
By Alan John3 years ago in Motivation
The soss of self
The song of the hour is intentionality and intimacy, though to be honest we find it hard. Either we withdraw and refuse to touch it with a ten foot pole, or we go full blast thinking intensity necessarily means honesty. Lately I’ve been going through a lot of stuff. I’ve been dealing with personal and emotional dissociation and it’s been driving me mad. It’s like I “just can’t even,” but the thing I’m attempting to even is just existing, being myself, or engaging with people around me. Who knew that wearing masks your whole life and trying to take care of everyone else’s emotions was so exhausting? Who knew it wasn’t easy to keep up appearances and smile? Yeah, cause that’s the thing: I said earlier it was hard to be myself, but in actuality it’s gotten difficult to be the version of myself that people (myself included) are used to seeing. I’ve been working a job that’s taken so much out of me I get to the end of the day and want to sit alone in a basement playing Skyrim. Or watching tv, or whatever. That would be okay, except that there are other people in my life, and, you know, sitting alone playing Skyrim isn’t actually what I want. Obviously (if you haven’t guessed) I love writing. I want to make a career out writing. Unfortunately that takes time and effort, and some days I don’t think I have it in me and that’s just one larger goal. So I vegetate on the couch, playing and replaying Skyrim, and feeling less and less and less in control, and more and more like my life isn’t where I want to be.
By Alan John3 years ago in Motivation