Return to Innocence of my soul is to be in acceptance of darkness underneath the light. Life has U-Turns and sometimes second chances are the ones that will create redemption within ourselves. Always with Love in everything that breathes
No longer waiting for Doomsday
As the game of life transcends into multidimensional facets; the rises and falls of my relational realms shifted yet again. The first glance of Farzin remained an encapsulation of years of longing arms wrapped in a demure smile. It was the beginning of December in 2019 and at that trivial time; I was taking care of my dad due to his recent stroke sand the dissolution of his restaurant. At the time, I was residing at the house with my dad and Farzin rented the extra room; (my old room) to be exact.
The drownings of my thoughts as our strands of the hands of time drips away and my heart still couldn't perceive how much has consumed my mind these past three weeks. Some will strongly agrees that any break ups are meant to be left behind and in the rear view mirrors. Somehow and somewhere, our departure has landed me into the web of bitter sweet tinge of bewilderment and conflicted feelings.
A walk and stroll can be as platonic and placid to some and yet, to others; it is a portal to restart something that shall stain my mind. The day was like any other day and it was the vague notions of how a mundane moment can be changed by someone purely from a stroll at the trail. It was only a week since we met in this borderline strange situation and somehow, your presence induces me to ponder about what the meaning of life truly entails.
Remember the droplets of the first glance meets the last tribulations of goodbyes of the what-ifs in our scents? What if our encounters were a mere paradox of our past existences.
The memory of you instills an ocean of deepness that penetrates farther than the intercourse of our minds. It was one of the returns of what it felt like when we met again in your hometown where I fell into you last May. Through the winds of despairs and the lingerings of what was not said and unfinished, your number found me again by an accident.
The un-battered woman within me was indented onto me when every shreds of my dignity collapsed. Solace of my soul reflected the fractures of my molecular shameful truth of what betrayal truly was. Many times we may have failed and fallen to the concrete ground of cold and hardened truth to the reality of how an altered state of mind signifies. For many years of unshedding and untwining myself, it finally took an earnest turn of no edge when I felt that prickling fear of losing my daughter, Emerson.
Heart beats trembling and treacherous effects, drippings of excitement as I press the "follow" button, hoping that you will not recognize me or even ignores my request. The floods of memory comes storming into my mind as I stared into the white screen and waited silently, but tornados of emotions travelled through me like an electric convulsion.
The encapsulating dew drops of time stands still inside of me When the winds of the departed glaciers melt away Tainted memories of you