thank

i lost you

but i never had you,

i needed you,

but i never wanted to.

i want to say

i miss you:

it is both a confession

and a lie.

i want to forget

and i want to remember

how i was immersed in your waters,

drowning.

i want to hold your face

and slap your face:

i want to comfort you

and punish you.

i want to want

others

but my heart

is at your feet.

i want to be yours

and nobody’s:

i knew you’d never

keep me.

so really thank you

and fuck you

for letting

me go.