Love thy mirror

I have to tell this story.
So that one day you may see that it is possible to heal. What better display of love, than to love oneself.



In the beginning I hated you.
The perfect imperfections that you showed me caused a spiral of confusion, and anger.
You forced me to look outward.
I wondered what good that would do.
I continued looking onward, Into the reflection that I didn't want to see.
“I see you.”
I would say to myself in disgust.
All of the scars that you show I would be forced to see.
The age lines that are beginning to mark my face would somehow shine brighter when I looked upon them.
The shadows under my eyes would reveal the exhaustion that I lived in daily.
Even the complexion of my skin that protected my body would seem disgusting being shone by you.
“Do I know you?”
I would contemplate as I stared at my reflection.
I felt that I didn't know the person anymore.
Maybe I never really did.
Minutes of these emotions turned to hours, then days, weeks, and eventually months.
It was almost mind-numbing as I was stuck in this neverending dread of looking at myself.
How much dread is too much?
How long would I allow myself to be stuck in this cycle?
Too long.
That feeling of weight began to grow and eventually it became too much.
I had to make a choice.
Don't be confused in the assumption that it was an easy choice to make….
It didn't happen quickly.
I had to decide between moving forward in the belief that I was beautiful, or continue in this negative connotation that I was unlovey.
This had to be a decision that I would make alone.
One day I looked at myself and decided to start healing.
The scars that you showed me were mine, and mine alone. The healing strength that they showed of myself I would wear proudly.
The lines beginning to appear on my face only tells my story.
Boy what a story it is.
I am proud of my life before now, and I will be proud of my life after.
All of the imperfections that you show are mine.
Every day I get up and make the choice over and over again.
Sometimes I fail.
In fact, I fail a lot.
But… Everyday it gets a little bit easier. A little bit better.

One day I hope that it will be a lesson to carry with me. A shadow of a life long past.
I can tell the story to the loved ones around me so that they can know what it means to be free.
I choose to view myself in the mirror without disgust.
The imperfections that I have cast on myself only mirror the words of others.
So I walk forward. Everyday I continue to love myself.
Everyday I choose to look at you and be satisfied.
I affirm, and I hold steadfast to the promise of life that you show me.
I am learning to love myself.


So I say to you in the end that I love you.


I see you in the mirror,
Gazing back at me,
Longing to be superior,
Never knowing who to be.

I see your happy smile,
Hoping someone will see,
Walking all the while,
Wishing only to break free.

I hear your lonely tears,
Coming from inside the room,
They whisper of all your fears,
Always looming, full of gloom.

Come rest to heal your pain,
Look inside and know your worth,
Your beauty not in vain,
But life, and full rebirth.