addicted to chaos

I'm so used to it

How can I say no to it?

I wish I could make a note out of it

Write it down and let everyone know

I'm a young woman with an addiction

An addiction to chaos

I've been through a tough loss

I wanted to pay the cost

Make it come back

Even though it makes me sad

I would rather lay in a sack

Get tortured without any remorse

I get hurt until I cannot move anymore

I tried to get up and move on

But it keeps coming back

I enjoyed it before it became a wreck

I ended it

Then I come back to it

I want to drown in it

Sink into the bottom of the dark ocean and not come back again

Stay there and Remain there hollow

I hear the lies I swallow

I wish I could throw them out

Vomit the lies from my throat

Never come back in

I can be extreme

My friends tend to tease

I'm so on and off like a light switch

Keep it going on and on

It's hard to carry on

I tend to go off

Out of control without the attention from drama

I wanted some karma

I'm over this drama

But I come to it

Go through it

I knew what I was doing

It's my life

I'm sticking by my side

I love the lies

I love the hurt

I love the cheat

Even though I would have a hard time sleep

I need some bad chaos

Savor it like a spicy sauce

I felt lost

I want what I want

The good, the bad, the sweet chaos

I don't want to get it off

I'm at fault

I'm addicted to the sauce

The chaotic sauce

I'm a young adult with an addiction

An Addiction to chaos