A Valuable Lesson Learned While Riding the Subway in Toronto

This post will go live on my birthday.

It will mark 10 years since I've left my small town to move to big-city Toronto.

I've been introspective about my time in Toronto and what it means to me. What I've accomplished and what I've still yet to do.

I remember the summer when I first moved here, way back in 2011. I wrote my final post on my first blog 'An Ounce of Shame':

I want to be able to make something of myself in the process. I want to cultivate my own identity - I don't want to rule this city (as I said, I wish to set reasonable expectations). I want to live in it and love in it. I desperately want to belong here and make a name for myself. Because if I have to return to the small town I live in now, there will be no growth, only stagnation. The way I see it, a life of potential heartache, pain, and struggle, is better than no life at all. And I think I'm finally ready to experience it.

Ten years in, and I can safely say I've lived and love as I had set out to do.

But in the span of those ten years, I've also made and abandoned several plans.

For the positive…

• I had proven my self-sufficiency, successfully living in Toronto for a decade,
• I found a job at a dental clinic and stayed there for 5 years, even becoming the office manager. I left that job to try my hand at becoming an administrative assistant. I learned that I didn't enjoy that type of role, but if the pandemic didn't happen, I'd likely still be there to this day. I also gained some very valuable skills that helped secure my newest job, which I start in September

For the not-so-good…

• I made plans to visit Japan for the 2020 Summer Olympics, but those plans fell through due to a) no money and b) COVID-19,
• I lost my biological father, and had to attend his funeral virtually

And for the unexpected, things I could not have envisioned for myself when I first embarked upon my journey to adulthood…

• I met my boyfriend (now fiancé) and his beautiful daughter, and we've been building a life together since 2014,
• I've since published two short stories, with a third accepted by a publication and expected out in 2022.

And there are many more things, and many more experiences I've had in my time here in Toronto.

Now I'm looking ahead to the future. What do I hope to accomplish in the next 10 years?

• I want to publish my first novel. That's the number 1 goal above all others.
• I'd like to get married, once things with COVID-19 have settled down.
• I'd still like to travel to Japan, but maybe as a 40th birthday gift to myself.
• I'd also like to buy a house.

As I reflect on all I've accomplished, as well as look ahead at the path I set for myself, it brings to mind a recent occurrence that happened on the TTC - Toronto's subway system:

I was on my way to work. By subway, it takes approximately 30 minutes to get to my workplace.

My daily commute to work, via the TTC. It's a simple commute, albeit far; I ride three stops east, then transfer to a northbound train that takes me the rest of the way.

On one particular day, the eastbound train was delayed due to a fire investigation.

I was already cutting it close for time, so I had to make a snap decision: I could either exit the subway and take the shuttle bus for my two remaining stops, or - since I was already at the St. George station - I could take the southbound loop and ride down to Union, then back up again, straight to my destination at the Sheppard-Yonge station.

I chose the latter option and arrived to work on time, despite the extended commuting distance.

The moral of the story? Well, not to get all Forrest Gump pseudo-philosophical, but life is like a daily subway commute to work.

I consider this scenario a metaphor for how I intend to live my life.

We plan our lives out with the best of intentions, hoping it will lead us to our desired outcome. (ie. the eastbound path)

But sometimes, life is complicated. Things occur that we can't control, that throw a monkey wrench in even the best-laid plans (ie. the fire investigation).

It is at that point where we have to choose: do we continue on our initial path, despite the obstacles (ie. opt for the shuttle bus)?

Or do we take an alternate route that might take additional steps, might take us a bit longer but will still ultimately help us reach our goals (ie. the southbound loop)?

And then there's the self-doubt we have to grapple with, regardless of our choice.

Even though I made the right choice, the entire time I was questioning myself for my decision.

Why didn't you take the shuttle bus? You could've walked in the time it took to travel the loop. What if the subway breaks down while you're going southbound? Then you'll be even farther from your destination and you'll REALLY be late.

I have to understand that these self-doubting thoughts are normal. There is always a bit of buyer's remorse with any major life decision that we embark upon, especially when the consequence is that we are unable to go back and try an alternate path or solution.

But we have to have confidence in ourselves. We have to believe that we have the tools to make the right decision for our own purposes.

I used my insight and experience of riding the shuttle buses in Toronto to make an informed decision that this was not a desirable route for me, and I opted for the lengthier path; a younger, more inexperienced me might have chosen the former.

The point is this: life, like the subway, has many branching paths. In many instances, there are alternate ways to get to a destination. Ultimately, it doesn't matter HOW we get there, what matters is that we arrive (and hopefully on time).

This will continue to be my modus operandi for the next 10 years. And no matter the outcome, I intend to enjoy the ride.

And now I'll end this post the same way I ended my first blog and began my self-discovery 10 years ago: with SWAG.

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Sylvie is a dual American/Canadian citizen living in Toronto, Canada. She has written for numerous sites, including Screen Rant, The Spool and Midnight & Indigo. Sylvie is currently writing her first YA novel; follow her writing journey at https://sylviesoul.com and @sylvsoulwriter on Twitter.