"TRANCE OF MEMORIES"

Trance of Memories

Memories Unfolding

This is a story I had to write about as I thought long and hard before writing about these truthful events. It’s not all about me as I now realize there are many people who are going through these types of issues with their families, friends, and other devious characters.

I am in a trance at times reminiscing about life. At 74 years old I can look back or live in the now in 2024 or look forward. I have lived my life with gusto. I 'burned the candle at both ends for many years.' I have been through many love affairs, two divorces, and have grown boys and grandchildren. I still love to read and write, watch movies, listen to music.

I have worked for three newspapers and Universal Studios, and as a LVN nurse. I worked freelance for many years in the music and film industry in LA and Austin. As an L.V.N. I worked in hospitals and nursing homes, doctors’ offices, and home health care. My favorite part of my nursing career was in hospice care. I was there for cancer patients and other long term critical illness patients. My favorite part of free-lance music and film industry production were and still is the creation of stories about life, birth, death, romance, and horror.

I never remember so much hate and chaos as we have in the world today. Yet I realize we have world history of war, genocide, hate, and a fight between darkness and light. So, I continue to fight for humanity. love, peace and understanding in a world swallowed up in hate and fear. Let go of fear, but don't forget to see reality. Today we live in so many realities and multi-universes.

America is so divided. Families are divided. People are fighting over religion. One group loves democracy, and the other group wants a dictatorship. I watched the movie "THE WAY WE WERE" mulitple times. I t reminds me of a life between a man and a woman divided by politics and personality differences that would and could not ever work out the dark crevices of the relationship. We move on letting go of fear but still remembering I am right where I belong. I don't give up on fighting for human rights and dignity for all. I still fight for democracy and always have.

https://youtu.be/mTftsRzs4Ko?si=70k9u2n3kgS-IBfa

There is massive war in Ukraine and Israel. The 'powers that be' of authority are fighting needlessly to be the ones in power.

People try to create power trips and manipulate others to obey them. What is the reason for this? It evolves from feelings of insecurity and to be in control of themselves and those around them. We are one human being species with many languages, ethnicities, nationalities, and skin pigmentation. We have a skeleton, body organs, and brains.

I have worked in different jobs to pay bills and rent. I have slowed down at my age as to be in a constant fight or flight situation wears down one’s health. Our bodies are all one piece. My head is attached to my torso, and arms, legs, and feet and teeth.

Our world has become a global internet as we talk to people all over the world.

Inflation is outrageous in America and other countries as well. I believe in healthcare for all. I believe in equality for all. I believe in a universe where people realize we are all one human being species not dozens of species. Race was created to divide and conquer and control the masses. There are also people who are mean and vindictive. Those types hurt humanity.

I look at the homeless population across America. Some people say no it’s only in California, but it is everywhere. Landlords keep raising rent and realtors work on commission inflating home prices to pay their salaries. Some people treat their pets better than their family.

We live in a world of toxic people who try to manipulate and destroy lives.

I was told recently to not talk about politics or religion by my own son. He attacked my career and my belief system in one visit. That hurt. I divorced his dad in 1989 and they never got over it. I am not a religious person, but I am a spiritual person who is a humanitarian. So, anything pertaining to so called politics is all about equality and reproductive rights for all, peace, love, and understanding. So, despite the hurt I felt from that day of projection of hate of who I am as a human being I am okay today. The conversation with my son who wanted to shut me down from talking about politics or religion was full of nothing and just a dangling conversation of nothing but emptiness towards me. I am okay. Since I am a spiritual person of many lifetimes and old now, I can walk away and love unconditionally from a distance for a while.

This is 2024. In my opinion, I believe in a God and the universe in a spiritual sense not religious sense. I believe in equality for all, education for all, and humanity. If anyone wants to shut me down for that belief, then so be it. It’s their issue not mine. I will continue as who I am as a human being. I want to make a mark on this world in a kind and caring sense. I am an empath. Unfortunately, I have had many experiences in my past marriages and relationships with narcissists and male chauvinist pendejos.

I wonder how many other people care about their brothers and sisters. We are not robots, at least not yet. The Narcissistic characters are mean, controlling, and hateful. Narcissistic personalities are like Jekyll and Hyde as they 'love bomb' a person then sink their claws into every crevice of darkness they can as narcissists are predators.

I also understand that not all mean, calloused and calculating people are not narcissistic. There are those amongst us that are cold and deadly.

There are also kind and caring people and people with principles.

I choose to be a humanitarian over the haters.

We are here on this Earth for a brief time.

Why judge others with disdain?

And with reason and rhyme

We continue to climb,

The hills that appear

As a mountain from afar.

As we standby to watch war

The multiple humans that are murdered

Just because they are who they are.

The pain and the tears we cry

And the times we sigh,

As we get high

On life

We need to listen more,

And learn to love again,

We live on earth

With many galaxies and beyond

The stratosphere of our Earth

Waiting to rebirth

Its souls as we live,

We die.

We are born into Earth families.

Sometimes our families are broken

And dysfunctional as we rely

On our conscious consciousness

To remind all of us of how everyday

We are all connected as cognizance’s

Of humanity

The air we breathe,

The water we drink,

The food we eat,

Are all our treats.

However, there are some who eat,

Much better than others and forget to treat,

The less wealthy with dignity,

But instead of caring

There are wealthy humans who do not share or care

For their brothers and sisters living or dead

Please hear what I said.

We are becoming a world of global significance

By chance

We need to learn to love people for their differences.

However, we cannot help everyone nor be friends

With everyone

So, we tread lightly around some folks

As we know if we do not do as we are told

That the mean one will punish us

So much we must create tons of space

Between the vindictive mean one

And the kind empath one

So, I will lay in the sun

As the rays radiate through my whole being of light

As we walked on out of the night.

Written by

VICKI LAWANA TRUSSELLI

AN OLE’ SOUL OF THE UNIVERSE

MAY 3, 2024

I wrote this story not in a negative way but in a reality way of looking through windows of time of memories of 'The Way We Were' and 'The Way We Are.'