The Bird, Cat and the Seafood Man

As birds in the park chat, the cat Myko would listen. One day, the cat met a bird which would talk endlessly. Myko began visiting with him in the mornings, while the day was still cool.

Today, Myko spotted the bird in a large shaded tree, its navy-capped feathers glistening alongside leaves that flutter lightly with the ocean breeze.

As the bird spies Myko, he moves to a branch near the stonewall which Myko then climbs atop, and they watch the park activities together as the shoreline glimmers on the horizon.

"Haven't you got any other friends?" the bird chided.

"None that have anything interesting to say!" said Myko.

Someone walks by, and notices a bird meowing and a cat chirping. They think on this funny situation for a moment then keep walking.

"Ah, well I've got a story for you. See the man in that truck making food?"

"Yes. By food, you don't mean dry kibble, do you?"

"Hah! No - I promise this gossip's a tasty nibble."

The cat licks its paws between glances at the bird. Nothing seems so interesting as how you might taste.

The bird continues:

“Well I’d follow him to the fish market every time, ya know? He could tell what’s freshest, and I like my shrimp with the brine of the sea still on it, not with week-old dumpy water.”

Well indeed, Myko thought to himself. Befriend the bird, get the shrimp, and I won’t be dining on brown pebbles for long.

“This rivets me,” says Myko.

“Do you believe in mystical creatures, Myko?”

“I am a mystical creature.”

“You know, I’m lesser the size of you, but with wings. Let’s say the bird gives chase to the cat this time. Or, wanna sit and listen instead?”

Myko gives his best upright listening pose.

“So, there we were, him and I - snatching up the day’s best catches. As he drives back here, I start flyin’ back too. But, I notice he’s heading a different way. This man knows food, so I follow him with my whole heart, hoping we’re onto another big score.”

“He parks at a house, starts cooking something fancy. I don’t think much of it, I just watch from above. But as he’s doing that, another van pulls up - lightning fast. Two guys hop out and they unload this open tub of water on wheels.”

“They wheel the tub into the house then run back and carry in what looks like… maybe a person wrapped in white sheets, I’m not sure. The sheet was sopping wet, which seemed strange.”

“Sounds like a big tuna!” Says Myko.

“We can dream, friend. But you’re only half right.”

“My man pops his head out, they exchange some words, then he starts lookin’ upset.”

“Among cats, we call that teaching how to hunt. He’s annoyed they’re flaunting a bigger catch.”

“Shush, you fiendish feline! Didn’t you hear me saying you’re only half right?”

“Seafood man dials down the heat, and plates some food. He comes out carrying GLORIOUS-lookin’ black ink ravioli, fresh oysters on ice, seared scallops - You got some drool hanging out your mouth.”

Myko sluuuurps back the drool. If you let the drool string hang, you’re no better than a dog, thinks Myko.

“I swoop to peer inside the window for a better look. There’s the tub, there’s seafood man ready to serve, and there It is… It is no human. But not a fish either. It looks like both. A human head, chest, and arms; but no legs, no feet, scales head-to-toe, webbing between fingers, and a whole freakin’ fish tail. And, It also looked like it took a beating. It had oozing criss-cross scratches.”

“Like how I mark my human’s arms?”

“Yeah - but on a bigger scale. Like the giant cat of the sea got ‘em.”

“Anyway, you know how humans are no good at communicating right?”

“They just embarrass themselves.”

“The humans talk amongst humans, and what they say, is that It barely got away from a net. And if they weren’t there to help … well, there’d be some new items at the market, let’s just say.”

“Once they all settle in and come to a sort of understanding, seafood guy offers It his seafood specialty meals. It pushes the food away, howling a screech and scowling at the poor man. It won’t even try his finest delights!”

“Your man’s a scam!”

“CAWWWK! Hardly! Seafood man employs the great thinking man pose… from this beautiful form, he brews an idea. He runs out, past the truck, toward the beach, and comes back, drenched. Both fists are clenched full of seaweed. A man stepping out the ocean enthralled with passion, I’ll gawk at any day.”

“He served It the seaweed. It took one look at the seaweed, and caressed my man’s face. The absolute audacity of this fish! It opened its mouth of razor-like teeth, slurped up the seaweed from his hand, and slowly chewed the kelp, much like how a koala chews eucalyptus.”

The cat stared blankly.

“You know - a koala - nevermind. Its body starts glowing blue, Its cuts start closin’ up. Then, It takes some balled-up seaweed out from Its mouth, and puts it into the seafood man’s mouth.”

“Ew!”

“Right?”

“Seafood man accepts, keeping respectful of this creature’s ways. Then he starts glowing!”

“That’s some magic saliva in that ball of seaweed.” Commented Myko.

“The glow fades. He jerks upright, walks to his truck and drives to the beach. All that beautiful seafood - he starts throwing back into the sea.”

“Absurd!”

“He then drives all the way to the market, and buys as much seafood as he can load into his truck, then drives back to the coast and just DUMPS it into the ocean!”

“Noooo!”

“I cried, but he didn’t listen. That creature has some unworldly power over him, I think.”

“I guess he’s not your seafood man anymore.” Said Myko.

“I guess not!” Said the bird.

End