Porn Again-Part Two

Continued from Part One…

“So we get there, and Rob surprises me with what had to be the most exquisite and elegant little hotel I’d ever seen,” Stacy blushed.

A blonde, girlish figure of a woman with a medium build, striking complexion and way too much plastic surgery, she struggled to contain her excitement as she held her boyfriend’s hand underneath the table. Rob was definitely one of those ‘metrosexual’ types, the kind that got pedicures, manscaped and read GQ Magazine as if it were the Bible. Not a strand of hair out of place on his faux hawk, he looked like one of those boy band types that stepped right out of an Amerbcrombie & Fitch ad.

As the couple regaled Candy with their wonderful tale of travel and romance in the City of Lights, waiters and patrons buzzed throughout the immaculate steakhouse. Impeccable plates featuring beautiful cuts of beef and other decadent items whizzed around them.

“It was the Hotel Costes,” she continued, a very tres chic boutique hotel in Paris. Expensive, but well worth every penny, and I mean the place just screamed passion and intimacy. Everything from the scents emanating from the walls, the ambiance, the splendid candlelight dinners to the small yet cozy rooms complete with fresh flowers. Girl it was without question the best vacation I ever had!”

Candy struggled to form her best smile as she stroked the stem of her wine glass, which was already her third. She was truly happy for her friend, witnessing her excitement. Speaking of ‘happy’, where the hell was he? Once again, he’d failed on a promise to be on time for dinner. This routine was getting old.

“Working man’s out late on the job?” Rob asked. “What is it he does again?”

Candy took another sip of wine. “He manages a Christian bookstore. And I’d like to know exactly where he-“

At that moment, Happy burst into the restaurant, chatting with the host before making a beeline toward the table.

“Sorry I’m late honey,” he said while leaning in to kiss her.

“Hap, you remember Stacy and Rob don’t you?”

Happy struggled to catch his breath. “Of course I remember. How could I forget? Sorry again for being late. Long day at the office.”

“Lots of sales coming in at the store these days?” Rob asked.

Happy took a sip of his drink, not exactly sure of how the question was meant.

“Not exactly unfortunately. We’re in the middle of a recession as you know and sales are down across the board. Good news is that my District Manager will be paying the store a visit in a few weeks. Hopefully I’ll be getting that promotion sooner than I thought. Maybe even relocate to another location.”

“Relocate?” Candy muttered. “We never discussed relocating.”

“Well I hope it all works out for you Hap,” Stacy beamed. “I guess we’re lucky in the sense that Rob’s business is virtually recession-proof.”

Rob ran a few nightclubs down in South Beach, right on Washington. Even in the madness that was currently gripping the economy and strangling it half to death, there would always be a slew of oiled up, pretentious douchebags complete with their trophy wives, mistresses and the like heading down to South Beach to drink, party and fuck the night away. And as for the regular John Q Americans who had to bear a square 9 to 5??? Forget about it.

“Business is booming you say?” Happy grunted.

“Always my friend. Always. Say, why don’t you and Candy come on down and spend some time with us?”

“Ooh baby, what about this weekend? They can come and hang out for our little...you know.”

Rob’s eyes immediately lit up at the idea, as he and Stacy gave each other an excited wink and a kiss, to which Candy really wanted to be clued in on the secret.

“This weekend?”

“Well Hap, as you may or may not have heard, I’ve taken on a bit of the entrepreneurial spirit myself during these tough times and dabbled in quite the productive and fun business venture,” the woman blushed.

“Stacy I thought you sold rubber cocks for a living,” Happy blurted. This was followed by a sharp nudge in his side courtesy of Candy.

“Oh it’s perfectly alright. Hap’s just cracking another one of his little jokes. Actually, we in the industry prefer to call them couples’ products.”

The comment caught him by surprise.

“Wait a minute, you mean to tell me that there’s, pardon me...an industry for this sort of thing?”

Rob and Stacy looked at each other in bewilderment.

“Of course Hap,” Rob interjected. “Where have you been all these years? Man, you wouldn’t believe the stuff that’s out on the market for couples to enjoy in the privacy of their homes. For instance, just take a look at this for example.”

He quickly reached into his pocket, retrieving a small black item and handed it over to Happy. He studied the item carefully while fumbling with it in his hand.

“Exactly what the hell kind of car do you drive? I don’t believe I’ve ever seen a key like-“

At that moment, she immediately shrieked and jumped from her seat, nearly startling the other patrons along with the waiter who approached with more drinks.

“Is everything alright ma’am?” the young man asked.

“Oh don’t worry about me, it’s just my heart,” Stacy managed to say. “I get these crazy palpitations every now and then.”

Rob tried to stifle his laughter as the waiter walked away.

“Happy, that’s not a car key,” Stacy quipped. It’s a remote.”

“A remote huh? A remote for what?” he asked as he pushed the buttons again.

Stacy nearly jumped from her seat again, almost as if a surge of energy shot straight through her. Rob couldn’t stop laughing.

“Are you alright?” Candy asked.

“Maybe we should explain,” Rob giggled. “What you’re holding in your hand Hap is a remote for the panties that Stacy’s wearing.”

Happy looked on dumbfounded. “I beg your pardon?”

“They’re remote controlled panties Happy!” he exclaimed.

“So you’re telling me that every time I push these buttons...she starts to feel-“

Happy quickly dropped the remote as if it were made of acid.

“I thought you said this was something couples could enjoy in the privacy of their homes?”

Candy laughed. “Where did you get this from?”

“The panties come from a fabulous company called Booty Parlor.

Founded by a couple actually. They sell everything from massage oils, scented sprays with pheromones in them along with a host of high-end bedroom accessories and cute little gift items. Obviously our favorite is the vibrating panties. It’s one of their top selling items.”

“For example,” Rob chimed in. “Say you’re out on a date with Candy...like tonight for instance. She wears this nice, sexy pair of black panties underneath her dress. Now inside is a small pouch carrying a small bullet.”

“A what?”

“A bullet Hap. It’s another term for vibrator. Anyway, while she wears that, you carry around this small remote. Very discreet and easy to conceal, this baby comes with ten different modes of vibration, pulsation and escalation, not to mention up to a 20 ft. range.”

Stacy jumped in. “So wherever Candy goes, you hold the remote and give her a nice little tingle whenever you feel like it. No one else around has to know about it. It’ll just be your little naughty secret, and you can take it anywhere; nightclubs, the park-“

“Or a restaurant apparently,” Candy quipped.

Happy looked down at the remote, unimpressed.

“I don’t get it. You’re telling me that women actually spend hard earned cash that they could be using on food and supplies and spending it on a pair of vibrating panties? What do the men get out of it?”

The duo looked at each other dumbfounded.

“The sheer excitement is worth the $100 price tag alone,” Rob said. “You actually paid a hundred bucks in the middle of this economy just to shove a vibrator, excuse me...a ‘bullet’ into your girlfriend’s crotch?” “Would you relax Happy?” Candace groaned. “It sounds like a lot of fun.”

“Yeah Hap, think of all the excitement you could get out of surprising your wife with a nice little tingle every now and then,” Rob added. “From personal experience, seeing my baby get turned on in the middle of a crowded room while everyone else is oblivious to the fact is a complete turn-on for me as well. Now I realize $100 may seem like a lot but trust me, it’s well worth the investment. Booty Parlor’s selling these things by the boatload, and as a businessman such as yourself can attest, numbers don’t lie.”

Happy had to give it to the man; he gave quite an impressive sales pitch. Reaching for the remote again, he was beginning to wonder how people lived with themselves in this line of work. Still, the ‘old-fashioned way’ of doing things held more of an appeal in his worldview...even if it all was a bit interesting.

“So what do you think?” Candy asked him.

“I think it’s quite a nice racket to push but $100 is a lot of money to spend on it.”

“Why am I not surprised? I should’ve known you wouldn’t warm up to it.”

“Tell you what Hap,” Stacy said. “Why don’t you and Candy come down to South Beach this weekend and hang out with us. We’re hosting a toy party at the Setai Hotel.”

“A toy party?”

“Yes. There’s an annual convention called the Exxxotica Expo, which is basically a trade show for the adult industry. Porn stars, directors, video and sex toy companies all come out each year to show off their new lines, meet with fans and network. It’s a great opportunity to also meet with vendors and get information from the ground up. After the event, we’ll have the party at the hotel. It’s a nice get together with friends where we hang out, eat, drink and go over couples’ products. Maybe even make some money along the way.”

“How exactly did you two get involved in this?” His curiosity was suddenly getting the best of him.

“Well, it was actually Rob’s idea. I was getting a little bored at home and wanted to make some extra money on the side, so Rob introduced me to one of his friends who does production work in adult films.”

“Porn?”

“Well you don’t have to make it sound so dirty Hap, but yes...porn. Anyway, Rob’s friend passed along some information on how I could get involved, selling couples’ products. I’ve got to tell you, it was one of the best decisions I ever made.”

“Not to mention all the fun and excitement we packed for Paris,” Rob whispered in her ear as he kissed her. “I can’t begin to tell you how nearly impossible it was for us to leave the hotel room Hap. Scented candles, whips, rope...the works. We brought a total fucking arsenal over there.”

Stacy chimed in. “And when you brought out the big toys on the last night-“

“Umm, so what’s good here?” Happy asked.

“Oh the food here is awesome. Wait until you’ve tried their prime rib. Hap, I can’t tell you just how much I enjoy the taste of a big, juicy piece of meat exploding in my mouth with intense flavor.”

Happy rose from his seat.

“Umm Candy, can I talk to you for a minute?”

“But we’re about to order Hap.”

“Now Candy.”

He grabbed her by the arm, pulling her over to the bar.

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

“You can’t possibly tell me she doesn’t know about him. I mean it’s so obvious!”

“Hap, knock it off! They’re my friends and I would like to get back to the table. You know, you’re making a complete ass out of yourself right now.”

“I’m making an ass out of myself?”

“Yes Hap, you’re so fucking close-minded and selfish. What is so wrong about her making money on the side selling sex toys?” It seems like a lot of fun and you know what? We’re going to that toy party this weekend.”

“What???”

His nerves began to take control of him; causing him to rapidly push down on the remote he’d forgotten was still in his hand.

“You heard me. We’re going to South Beach this weekend, we’re going to that toy party, and we’re going to have fun whether you like it or not!”

Unbeknownst to the two of them, Stacy and Rob began to get a little too excited back at the table, kissing, giggling and frolicking around. They could clearly see her twitching and jumping again.

“What the fuck?” Happy mumbled just before realizing that he was the one still in possession of the remote.

“Will you take this please?” he asked, while handing it over. “You want to go to South Beach? Fine, but I’m telling you something’s not right about Rob if you know what I mean.”

“I don’t give a damn what he is Hap. We’re going to that party and that’s all there is to it.”

The two sauntered back over to the table, where Stacy struggled to regain her composure. Rob couldn’t stop laughing as the waiter approached.

“So what can I get for you guys tonight?” he asked.

“I’ll have what she’s having,” Candy groaned as she slammed the remote on the table...

***

The Setai Hotel was a swanky, upscale beachfront paradise firmly planted in the sandy, tropical oasis that was South Beach. Sun kissed, curved and toned bodies enhanced with ample silicone meshed with buffed and toned physiques courtesy of Crunch gym memberships all along the streets and avenues. Happy adjusted his shades accordingly in that way men normally attempt to hide the fact that they’re staring at the flesh on display when they’re sitting next to their women.

“Welcome to paradise,” Stacy exclaimed as the convertible made its way down Collins. “Aren’t you glad you decided to get out of dreary ass Fort Lauderdale for the weekend?”

“Yeah, tell me about it,” he groaned as he chomped down on a stick of Twizzlers he’d been carrying along for the ride. More of a means to appease a nervous tick of his since childhood, he felt completely like a fish out of water.

Candy on the other hand was enjoying every moment of the ride. The duo hadn’t made a habit of getting out of the house much and as the case with most married couples, that passionate fire that once burned so brightly was slowly dimming. Maybe there was some reasonable method to Rob and Stacy’s madness after all. Deep down, Happy knew that something had to be done to rekindle that spark. Somehow between the financial crisis and problems at work, certain priorities were slowly taking a backseat.

“Good Lord,” she muttered to herself, quickly turning to see if Happy had noticed.

Of course he hadn’t. Nervously chomping down on Twizzlers, his attention was completely distracted by a dizzying display of scooters, neon and Art Deco madness. Happy wasn’t exactly the jealous type, never had been. Candy stroked her necklace while staring out at the seemingly endless stream of perfectly tanned and muscular figures walking along the street, wondering if she was losing her fire. Happy did his best to be a good husband and provider, but women needed more. Financial security wasn’t enough, and in these rough times even that was fleeting. She hadn’t felt wanted or needed in a very long time, and the sting was beginning to create longings she had long since forgotten about.

“You are in for quite the treat girl,” Stacy exclaimed as the group strolled through the lobby of the hotel.

Couples and tourists flocked about arm in arm, posing for pictures to appease their various social media accounts while others laughed with excitement over what gift items they received from the convention. The idea of an actual convention for the sex industry of all things was just too much for Happy to deal with. He was already bending over backwards and compromising for Candy’s sake by going to a ‘party’ where people talked about sex toys. Going to a full on convention filled with a bunch of perverted old men and college brats just wasn’t his cup of tea.

“I can’t wait to see what other crazy stuff you’ve been selling,” Candy replied. “Maybe I might want to get in on the fun as well.”

The comment completely caught Happy off guard as they stepped into one of the elevators. He gave her a subtle glance of disdain, much in the fashion his father had given him on many occasions. Much to his chagrin, his look of disapproval wasn’t even acknowledged. Running her fingers through long strands of hair, Happy got a chance to notice her remarking at her figure from the reflection beaming off the mirrored walls. Wearing a tight fitting bikini top complete with a sun skirt that hugged her curves perfectly, he’d almost forgotten just how beautiful and tempting she was. Her skin glowed with a youthful energy that just couldn’t be bought in a tanning salon or new trick diet. It was almost as if she was coming alive again.

Rob for the most part, was about as excited as a kid in a toy store...literally. For nearly half the trip he went on and on about sex toy companies and vendors the way normal kids collected baseball cards or pictures of women from nude magazines. What the fuck was he so excited about? The group stepped off the elevator, with Stacy grabbing Candy by the arm and the two skipping down the hall like two little girls getting ready for the prom. Rob gave Happy a hearty pat on the back and hugged his shoulders, making him even more uncomfortable.

“Brother you are about to see some crazy shit.”

“You don’t say?” Happy muttered as he started chomping down on a fresh bag of Twizzlers; that nervous tick coming back again.

The hotel suite was a marvelous display of modern luxury coupled with all the extravagant features and amenities one could ask for. Subdued lounge music flowed from the speakers as several other people mingled about. Others sipped drinks while marveling over large tables containing all manner of colorful contraptions and thingamajigs. A virtual consumer electronics expo for sex toys, Happy could easily feel himself growing uncomfortable at the sight of colored lights flashing and buzzers buzzing. Women marveled over bright, inviting displays of everything from edible panties to massage oils and X-rated fortune cookies. X-rated fortune cookies??? What in God’s name would people come up with next? Makeshift displays from companies he’d never heard of like Doc Johnson, Cal Exotics and Screaming O housed way too realistic rubber cocks and vibrating toys that nearly left him speechless. One such item that caught his attention was a box containing an 8-inch ‘realistic dildo’. Morbid curiosity getting the best of him, Happy picked up the box, feeling the surprisingly heavy thickness of the item inside...and then it happened. Eight bulbous, veiny inches of a flesh-colored dildo that seemed way too real fell out, striking the floor with a thud. Surveying the room in embarrassment, he was caught by the piercing eyes of several women watching him closely, making futile attempts to hide their blushing. While he’d never once been inside a prison cell, the sudden feeling of what it must have been like to drop the soap suddenly washed over him. ‘Pick it up bitch’ rang through his mind as he slowly bent down to pick up the item. Hardy and sturdy on the inside while soft and supple on its exterior; Happy examined the dildo with an uneasy sensation of curiosity. It really did look and feel like an actual penis, all the way from the veiny scrotum up to the pink, bulbous head. My God, how did they come up with this? This was amazing! Caught in his curiosity, the sudden interest evaporated to the chorus of mumbling and laughter from a group of women. He quickly slammed the dildo down on the table, noticing its suction cup base making a loud sound as the toy sat there, fully erect...and wagging back and forth as if it came to life. Doc Johnson. Apparently they were selling these things by the dozens. Oblivious to his disposition, Candy eagerly followed Stacy, ingesting the splendor that was the sparkling waters of the Atlantic.

“Oh my God, the view is amazing!” Candy said as she pulled Stacy over to the balcony.

Feeling completely left out, Happy continued surveying the room. Several other women moved about, stuffing bags with some other manner of contraptions while others engrossed themselves in the usual married banter that he’d grown accustomed to virtually memorizing: the kids, the mortgage payments, the economy and the overall lack of attention they got from their husbands. As several of them caught sight of Happy in his overall plain and meager corporate wardrobe, they either faked a slight smile or quickly turned their attention away from him. Why was it always the man’s fault? Happy often wondered about what had changed between the generation of his parents and grandparents in comparison to the generation of today. Whereas in days past, marriage seemed to be about the equal union of two partners, something that today, at least from his perspective was falling off the tracks. While you always heard stories about what women went through in marriage, nobody seemed to care one bit about what men had to deal with. Did they have a point? Was he just growing bitter and self-involved? As he stared over at Candy and Stacy overlooking the balcony, he began to wonder where his life was heading and whether or not his father was right.

“So what are you drinking Hap?” Rob asked as he motioned over to the makeshift bar setup in a corner near the balcony. “Whatever your poison, my man Scorpio can hook you up.”

“Scorpio?” he asked. What kind of name was-

And then he saw it. Rising up from behind the bar emerged a towering presence of man, topless with the exception of a bowtie and a smile. Completely ripped and sculpted coupled with tattooed sleeves on both arms and a shining bald head, Happy instantly felt inadequate compared to what was now standing in front of him...especially when he saw the man’s face.

“What’s going on Hap? Didn’t expect to see you here,” Scorpio said.

It was Marcus Halloway. The same Marcus Halloway he’d caught getting some very generous head in the driveway outside his house. The same Marcus Halloway whom damn near all the women on the block raved about. The same Marcus Halloway that he and Candy had to listen to on a very frequent basis fucking the shit out of his girlfriend. And here he was in the flesh...literally looking like something straight from Chippendales. Marcus motherfucking Halloway.

“M-m-Marcus,” Happy managed. “What are you doing here?”

“Just doing a side gig to help my man out here,” he said motioning to Rob.

“Marcus used to be a male model back when we were in college at the University of Miami. We’ve been close friends ever since and he agreed to come bartend for the party.”

“So you’re a bartender?” Happy asked nervously, just looking for something to distract his mind from the fact that Marcus caught him staring at his chest.

“Well, I used to bartend back in college just to support myself. Nowadays I deal in marketing, brand management, that sort of thing.”

Happy nodded in agreement, unsure of what exactly it was the man did for a living. Judging from the Ferrari he drove, he was apparently good at it.

“Scorpio?”

Marcus laughed. “Ok, so maybe bartending wasn’t all that I did back in college. I also did some dancing here and there. Since my birthday is in October, somebody gave me the name ‘Scorpio’. Made a few bucks.”

“A few bucks my ass,” Rob chimed in. “This motherfucker used to kill it! Damn near every other weekend he’d have women going crazy, drooling all over him.”

“So what you drinking today Hap?” Marcus asked as he handed Rob a beer. “You know what, forget I asked. You look like a man who can appreciate a good whiskey. Here, try this.”

He pulled from the bar a fresh bottle of something Happy had never seen before. True, he was no stranger to whiskey every now and then. How Marcus picked up on it had him a bit curious.

“This is something I learned about from a friend of mine about a year ago,” he explained as he poured the caramel colored beverage into a small glass. “Brace yourself for this.”

Happy lifted the glass, taking in the aroma as Rob and ‘Scorpio’ watched. The taste had a rather distinctive bite of oak, followed by a plethora of flavors. He had to give it to Marcus; the guy had really good taste.

“It’s called Hibiki, a very popular Japanese whiskey.”

“This is the stuff you were telling me about before right?” Rob asked. “The very same. I spent some time in Tokyo about a year ago and a friend of mine who is a DJ over there recommended it. It’s pretty much all I drank whenever I went out.”

“Sounds like you have quite the life. Ferraris, traveling the world, beautiful women...and about the thing in the driveway a while back-“

“Dude, don’t even worry about it. Perfectly fine.”

“And what are you boys drinking?” Candy asked as she and Stacy strolled over. She quickly grabbed his glass and took a sip. “Damn, so this must be the whiskey you were telling me about before right? Hibiki isn’t it?”

“The very one and the same,” he replied, surprised that she remembered. I told you it was awesome. You look amazing by the way.”

Happy looked on a bit nervous and bewildered as Candy responded with a girlish laugh as she nervously ran her fingers through her hair.

“Something you want to tell me?”

“Well Marcus is an avid art lover, and I managed to help him pick out a few pieces a while back. I told you about that.”

“By the way, the tip you gave me on that Rothko was excellent,” he said while making another drink. “Rob told me you were coming so I thought of this especially for you.”

“Marcus is quite the connoisseur of fine dining and drinks. What are you making this time? One of your fancy mimosas?”

“No mimosa today. For you...it’s magic time,” he whispered in an almost sinister way that suggested at least to Happy that they knew something he didn’t.

Marcus pulled from the bar two tall glasses and began muddling some brambleberries. Happy couldn’t help but notice the precision and efficiency in the man’s movements, coupled with that of the way both Stacy and Candy occasionally pretended not to stare at his arms in motion. He also pulled forth a bottle of absinthe, putting a small portion into both glasses.

“Absinthe? Interesting,” she remarked.

It was a drink Happy had heard about before but never tried. Supposedly it had been banned for many years due to causing hallucinations and all other forms of debauchery. To him, it reeked of pop culture hokum. They continued to watch as Marcus followed up the absinthe with champagne and spooned the brambleberries on top. Last but not least was a single rose petal he placed on both glasses as a garnishment and handed them over to the ladies.

“Wrap your lips around this.”

Candy smiled at him as she quickly took the drink in, enjoying the flavor.

“Well goddamn! Where the hell did you learn to make this?”

“You’d be surprised at the tricks I know. It’s a drink Ernest Hemingway invented called ‘Death in the Afternoon.’ I added the brambleberries and rose petals to give it a bit more flavor and passion.”

After a brief but awkward silence, Rob chimed in. “Ok, let’s get this thing rolling.”

Several women continued in conversations on everything from their sex lives to their kids’ educations as they lounged about around a rather large and plush structure of bed that the girls also quickly gravitated to.

“That’s the Liberator Zeppelin,” Rob said, noticing Happy’s growing curiosity. It’s a sort of lounger/bed made of some of the finest fabric and stuffed with this super comfortable high-density foam. Adds a really awesome dynamic of romance and passion to any room and feels like lounging on a dream.”

“What do you use it for?”

“Just about anything. It can be a lounger for just sitting around watching the game or if you and Candy want to have a little romance going, you can-“

“I get the point.”

“Stacy and I got ours about a week ago and it’s awesome. Man you won’t believe all the different positions we could-”

“I said I got it.”

As Stacy quickly took the floor, introducing herself and going over the latest lines of couples’ products, Happy slipped out of the way over to a couch just behind the massive lounger where Candy sat with several other women. Two older women frolicking about on a smaller, contoured lounger near the back caught Happy’s attention. Clearly they knew he was watching. Clearly they didn’t give a damn as one of the women strapped the other to the thing, giving him a playful tease.

“Black Label Esse,” Rob giggled. “Also from Liberator. It’s a more exotic lounger for those interested in stepping it up a notch for some S&M excitement. See how she’s strapping her down? It’s got multiple connector points that you can-“

“Connect someone to. I get it.”

“But that’s not all Hap. That’s only the beginning. Very plush and comfortable, you can tie your lover down courtesy of the Velcro ankle or wrist cuffs and have them experience over 360 degrees of intense sexual bliss. I’m talking whips, floggers-“

“I get it.”

“The other night Stacy tied me down and dripped ice cubes on my-“

“Can we just get this over with?”

“Right. Sorry.”

Stacy stood next to a table filled with a colorful, vibrant assortment of packages, thingamajigs and baubles. While it all may have felt a bit clinical in terms of her vivid descriptions coupled with excited laughter from the group, Happy began to sink deeper and deeper into his seat. She continued her sales pitch, passing around item after item, where the women all took turns pushing buttons, marveling at fancy lights and gadgets much in the same way men check out cars or gadgets at the local electronics store. Even though he didn’t necessarily agree with her choice of business, he had to give it to the lass; she knew exactly how to sell.

“So as you can see, there’s a wide assortment of really cool and sexy items that you can enjoy. Now one of the most important factors to determine, especially if it’s your first time using a couples’ toy and always wondered about is: What type of stimulation will it provide?”

Happy himself had to perk up in his seat as he noticed the women in the room hanging on to virtually every word she uttered. Immediately next to him stood a small table with an opened display of stringy, gelatin-like thingamajigs with colorful bulbous ends. What the hell were these?

“While there are many different ways to use a toy depending on what you prefer most, the two most popular is of course clitoral and vaginal stimulation.”

As the women continued to pass around items to check out, Happy occasionally glanced over at Rob, who returned the look with a wink and nod. He seemed to be more excited about the presentation than half the women. What was his problem? Sinking deeper into his seat, Happy relented to chomping down on Twizzlers as she continued.

“For example, if you’re a woman who’s more into clitoral stimulation, as a lot of us are; you may want to check out something like this for example.”

From her purse, she pulled forth what seemed to be a tube of lipstick. Happy continued to look on with growing interest, alternating between his candy and sips of whiskey.

“Now imagine if you’re having one of those days at work where you’re either bored or just stressed out and need to relieve some tension. You decide to take a break to the ladies room, maybe reapply your lipstick...only this isn’t your ordinary lipstick.”

With one subtle push of a button, everyone looked on in amazement as they could hear the subtle whir of vibrations emitting from the device. Stacy immediately handed it over to Candy, who shot a wink back over to Happy.

“Introducing the My Secret Screaming O Vibrating Lipstick, from Screaming O. Now just a quick tip, no pun intended,” she added. “When dealing with toys for this type of stimulation, if you really want to get a good feel for the level of intensity, just hold the tip of the vibrator to either the tip of your nose or the space between your thumb and index finger.”

“Why is that?” Happy blurted.

At that moment, every woman in the room immediately turned their attention to him.

Why did I ask that question?

Every eye continued its gaze on him, making him feel like a 3rd grader in detention as he nervously chomped down on his candy before placing a wad of Twizzlers on the table next to him.

“The reason for that Hap, is that by placing the vibrator on those areas, it nearly simulates the type of sensations a woman would feel on her clitoris.”

Happy politely nodded in agreement, if only to get the still lingering eyes off him while drowning his embarrassment in gulps of whiskey. Had to give it to Marcus, the man sure knew his booze.

“Now for one of my favorites,” Stacy beamed as she pulled forth a shiny pink pouch of some sort. “Anybody who knows me knows I love music, especially for those moments when I’m feeling in the mood. Well with this little device, you can now have both.”

Happy looked on a bit confused as he continued with his drink.

“Say hello to the Naughtibod massager. Developed by a company called OhMiBod, this sleek and sexy massager comes with quite a kick as it plugs into either your iPod or iPhone and actually vibrates to the beat of the music you have playing.”

Out of nowhere, Happy spit out a mouthful of alcohol, distracting her. All eyes were back on him again.

“Would you just pay attention for once?” Candy blurted.

“I’m fine, don’t worry about me,” he fired back.

Candy stared at him for a few moments as he attempted to wipe himself off while reaching back for the Twizzlers. He was making a complete fool of himself in front of everybody, and the effects of the alcohol were getting to him.

“Harper, what the hell are you doing?” Candy asked.

Happy looked back at the expressions of the women all staring at him. Some struggled to hold back giggles as they watched his every move.

“Don’t worry about me, I’m fine. Just a bit of an accident. Go ahead Stacy, I’m paying attention.”

Their eyes still on him, Happy nervously chomped down on his prized candy...only it wasn’t candy he was chewing. Instead of that familiar sweet taste of licorice, what he encountered was rather bland, generic...and gelatin- like.

“Happy those aren’t Twizzlers you’re eating. They’re anal beads.”

He looked on first in confusion, then in utter embarrassment as he pulled the stringy substance from his mouth. The women all erupted with laughter as he stormed out of the room.

***

Hours later, the modest Prius staggered its way up to the house, with Candy still struggling to control her laughter. The knowledge provided by Stacy on what anal beads were designed for nearly made him want to vomit.

“I’m glad you found that so funny. Made me look like a fucking idiot in front of everybody!”

“Nobody told you to get all liquored up that early in the day Hap. You know you can’t handle alcohol on an empty stomach. Come on babe, it was funny! Besides, it was great to get out and have a little fun for a change. Remember back when we were in college? We used to go dancing often and do all kinds of crazy shit. We used to laugh and play together. Now everything is work, work, work. We needed this...I needed this.”

Happy hopped out of the car, slamming the door. “Yeah, crazy shit like chewing on fucking anal beads for lunch.”

She couldn’t control her laughter. “You should’ve seen your face! I wish I could’ve gotten a picture of that,” she said as she approached the front door. “Come on inside babe, let’s have a little fun.”

In her hands Candy held a medium-sized gift bag; a collection of playful items she couldn’t wait to try out.

“Just tell me one thing. Please tell me those things were clean. Did anybody actually use those?”

She continued her laughter. “Seriously Hap? Come on inside. Let’s play.”

He struggled to compose himself from the embarrassment. Still seeing the faces of everyone laughing at him in his mind, a wild night wasn’t actually the thing he longed for at the moment. Something deep within wasn’t right, something far beyond the humor and hijinks of the day. He wasn’t sure exactly what it was, but he knew deep inside, something was brooding.

“I don’t know Candy, not tonight. I’m just not in the best mood right now. Maybe some other time, ok?”

There are some moments in a relationship when you see the look on a woman’s face and deep down inside, you know that look is more than just about that particular moment. It’s a look that burns in your mind, rendering you powerless with the nagging sensation that maybe you could’ve done more to prevent it from ever coming. Should I have listened more? Should I have cared more? Should I have been more attentive? It’s a look most men won’t talk about or acknowledge, but at some point or another, we all come to know that very look. The scary part about it is the fact that once that look comes, there is only the notion of ‘before this’...and ‘after this’. There was no argument from Candy, not even a slight rebuttal. Standing in the doorway, she could do nothing more than give a modest nod and disappear behind the door. As Happy looked out along the tree-lined street of his neighborhood, all was virtually silent. Another quiet, solemn and otherwise quaint night in Victoria Park, without a care in the world stared back at him. Looking over at the bright red Ferrari parked next door, he could suddenly hear the rumbling of footsteps running through the house. Marcus, or ‘Scorpio’ as he was once known had managed to pick up one of the beautiful yet neglected soccer moms from the toy party and bring her home. With the girlfriend out of town for the week, someone was definitely getting a bit of extracurricular activity tonight. His eyes ventured up to the bedroom where he could see shadows of two people frolicking around followed by laughter. First, a brief silence, followed by the bedroom light disappearing into darkness...

“Bless me Father for I have sinned. It has been six months since my last confession.”

The hollow confines of the confessional were a stark reminder of the days of his youth, back when he first began to learn the act of penance in the eyes of Christ. Mirroring the growing hollow feeling, Happy often fell on his faith to sustain him. Not being able to shake the feeling of dread, he was looking for something...anything to help.

“Go on my child,” the priest replied.

“I don’t know where to begin. I’m in a marriage that’s...stifling. I’ve lusted in my head and my heart, for what I have no idea. My wife is beautiful, but something is missing. My business is suffering in the middle of this recession and I’m beginning to feel this burning anger inside of me. Sometimes it gets hard to breathe, almost as if there’s this fire inside that won’t stop. I don’t know what to do Father. I just don’t know.”

First a prolonged silence, the priest finally spoke.

“So tell me son, how’s your cock working these days?”

At that moment, the stillness of the confessional became bright and colorful, as Happy looked up at what could’ve been multi-colored strobe lights spinning above him. Loud Hip-Hop music blared from out of nowhere, startling him to the point of stumbling out of the confessional. The grand cathedral was gleaming and opulent, almost as if the light of Heaven itself shone brightly through the windows. Beautiful, striking statues of angels and saints adorned the great sanctuary, looking down on the spectacle of lust almost in bewilderment. What manner of decadent, debauchery was this, he wondered to himself. High above the altar hung a golden sign, upon which the words ‘DO WHAT THOU WILT’ were inscribed. Happy staggered about the place, noticing that the pews were all arranged around a massive stage on which sat a plush Liberator Zeppelin. Atop the structure sat Stacy in a skimpy leather nun’s costume, breasts fully bare, demonstrating a huge assortment of sex toys for a congregation of nudists, all laughing, drinking and engaging in a mass orgy.

“What the fuck Happy?” a familiar voice called to him. He slowly turned around to witness a sight he never thought he’d see. Stark naked and tied to a St. Andrews Cross was none other than his Assistant Manager Clayton. Happy looked on in bewilderment as his pasty white flesh soon turned beet red as another woman adorned in a leather nun’s outfit attacked him with a flogger.

“So you’re telling me that I can’t arrange a bikini car wash for the store, but you can host a fucking orgy? HYPOCRITE!”

“Clayton???” Happy replied. “What the fuck are you doing here?” “Me? What the fuck are you doing here?”

A look of horror crept across Happy’s face as the woman in the nun’s outfit turned to him. He could see that she was also wearing a large black strap-on dildo.

“Hey motherfucker!” she screamed. “You watch, you pay!”

She immediately turned her attention back to Clayton, whipping him more vehemently until more red bruises began to appear on his flesh.

“It’s like I told you all along,” another voice echoed from behind.

Happy turned to see none other than his father standing there, shaking his head with that familiar look of disdain.

“Dad???”

“What I tell you kid? Vultures...the lot of them. And you know whose fault it is for this madness right? You know whose fault it is? It’s that cocksucker Obama!”

At that moment, the church began to shake and tremble with a force that nearly knocked him over. The great ceiling began to crumble and burn above them, and the wails of pleasure and ecstasy soon transformed into fear. Happy turned to run out of the church before catching a glimpse of Candy amongst the massive display of bodies, pleasuring herself with a vibrator.

“Happy aren’t you paying attention?”

***

Happy slammed on the breaks as hard as he could just before hitting the car in front of him. Struggling to catch his breath after nearly being asleep, the fogginess of clarity was suddenly washed away by the bright sunlight piercing through the windows. It had been several weeks since the party in Miami, and things hadn’t exactly been rosy between he and Candy. Nights of dinner together and stimulating conversation soon turned into TV dinners alone while Candy either went off carousing with Stacy or straight up to the shower or bed. The endless supply of batteries floating around the house was a sure sign of how she managed to occupy the void from their growing distance. Once a subtle thing, Candy wasn’t even attempting to hide it. Between the stress, growing distance in his marriage and the impending visit of the District Manager, Happy hadn’t been sleeping well.

Regaining his composure, he gained some satisfaction in the fact that he hadn’t gotten himself into an accident. He noticed the back bumper of the car in front of him was never touched, not even a scratch. On it was a bumper sticker that read ‘JESUS SAVES’. A curious little girl, no more than six years old stared back at him from the backseat. Happy forced a faint smile and waved at the child. To his amazement, the little girl simply flipped him the finger and turned back around.

Pulling up into the parking lot, this time he noticed only one car parked. Only one car on a Monday...this was not good at all. Heading out of the store to meet him was none other than Clayton, beaming with that precocious smile again.

“Morning Hap, how’s it going?”

Happy climbed out of the car, staring at the kid rather suspiciously. The awkward silence between the two made Clayton a bit nervous.

“Are you okay boss? You don’t look so good today.”

Happy continued to stare at the kid, eyeing him up and down.

“What did you call me?”

“I said good morning.”

“No...you called me a hypocrite Clayton. And don’t you deny it!” “What the hell are you talking about?”

Happy continued his gaze at the kid, before surveying the parking lot, all the way to the Starbucks across the street. As usual, the place was packed again and booming with business while his was empty.

“Vultures. The lot of them,” he muttered.

“Umm boss, is everything okay? You’re being a little creepy this morning.”

He directed his attention back to Clayton, who quickly backed up a few steps.

“I ain’t no damn hypocrite,” he sneered back at him. “Let’s get to work.”

Clayton cautiously followed him back into the store. “Just wanted to give you a heads up Hap. The District Manager is here. He’s in your office waiting.”

Oh fuck...

Happy quickly surveyed his store, checking every countertop, every book display along with every absence of customer satisfaction he could find. No customers on a Monday...and with the DM in town. This was not good. Not good at all. He struggled to cheer himself up a bit. Regardless of the current situation, he still had a reputation of being the top manager in the company who’d paid his dues and a promotion was long overdue. It was time to look on the bright side. Everything would be okay.

“Good morning Happy,” a meager yet controlled voice said as he entered the office.

A short, balding and rotund figure of a man stared at the dry erase board of dwindling sales numbers while adjusting his glasses. Seated next to him was a much taller man in jeans and a shirt that was way too tight who said nothing. He barely acknowledged his presence as he flipped through a magazine.

“My name is Garrison,” the man said as he removed his glasses to clean the lenses. “I’m the DM for this area. You’ve been expecting me.”

“Yeah...yes. How’s it going?”

“Well that’s why we’re here Happy,” he replied. He appeared to get right down to the point. “Very impressive record you have. Been around for four years. Took the worst store in the company and turned it into the highest grossing and most profitable overall. That is until the past several months of course.”

“I know. This recession is seriously hurting our sales. I’m currently working with one of my brightest Assistant Managers on solutions to help raise our sales-“

“Clayton?” Garrison asked.

“That’s right. He’s been able to come up with some great ideas, has in- depth knowledge of the numbers and would also make a great replacement for when I move on.”

Garrison decided to let that last statement linger in the air for a minute, the weight of the moment weighing down on him.

“The reason I’m here Mr. Downman, is because while you’re not the only store suffering in the middle of this recession, you are missing monthly plan by the largest mark.”

Happy could feel a growing lump in his throat. This was not what he was expecting.

“Loss of sales in excess of $15,000 or more the past several months and now sales for this month are already down in excess of $20,000. Now while the store is immaculately merchandised and everything looks to be in order...looks as the numbers show, can be very deceiving.”

Happy was at a lost for words. I can’t believe this sniveling, fat prick actually came all the way down here to fire me.

“For a while now, the company as a whole has been thinking of restructuring a bit, focusing more on our strong areas while ‘trimming the fat’ so to speak. In spite of the reputation you have with...”

***

“...Our company and the years of hard service you’ve put in, because of the drastic slump in the numbers and direction of the company we have to shut this location down in sixty days...”

Happy slurred as he drowned his sorrows in alcohol. Whiskey sour, courtesy of some shithole, cesspool bar in some shithole, cesspool part of town was all that could keep him from driving his shithole Prius in a ditch somewhere. Four years. Four fucking years of pushing Christian texts and novels to uptight, pretentious douchebag conservatives who couldn’t have cared less about the people arriving to work everyday pandering to them. Everyday before the recession started, he’d smile the corporate, plastic smile while serving over-caffeinated suits, sycophants and corporate suck- ups fresh off their Starbucks binges from double tall, soy what-the-fucks. Fuck ‘em all, he thought to himself as his cell buzzed with a message from Candy.

“YOUR FATHER CALLED. CALL ASAP. YOUR BROTHER’S IN TOWN AND HE’S BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU.”

As if things couldn’t get worse, his brother was the absolute last person Happy wanted to deal with at the moment. After a few rounds of whiskey sours and pool games later, he relented to his car and headed home. Nearly lit on alcohol, it was a miracle he made it back home without so much as swerving off the road or being pulled over. As the Prius pulled into the lot, Happy sat quietly in his seat, staring at his haggard reflection in the rearview mirror, wondering how he was going to break the news to Candy. Finally exiting the car, he looked over at the house next door. All was dark and quiet. Marcus must have been out, most likely roaming about town either with his girlfriend or somebody else’s wife. Some guys have all the luck. The house was eerily dark and mundane as usual, minus an opened bottle of wine on the counter complete with two empty glasses. Candy and Stacy must have had another wild night of drinking and partying. At least she kept herself occupied, he thought in his drunken state. Happy reached into the refrigerator for a beer...and then he heard it.

A deep and guttural moaning was heard coming from upstairs. Candy must have been in the middle of another one of her sessions with her toys. At first he thought about hanging out on the couch for a while until she finished. Yet for some odd reason, the constant moaning and other sounds coming from upstairs piqued his curiosity. The blurriness of vision subsiding a bit, he continued up the stairs with beer in hand, wondering what crazy gadget Stacy hooked his wife up with this time. As the moans intensified, he could soon hear the growing sound of the headboard knocking in sync with Candy’s moans, now accompanied by screams. He slowly opened the bedroom door and saw it...

In a slightly dark haze of lust lay Candy’s naked body being fucked into submission by a dark, muscular figure of a man. For a moment, he didn’t notice the sinking feeling of his heart drowning in the alcohol-induced pit of his stomach. His attention distracted by the forceful rhythm of the man’s ass cupped in Candy’s hands pulling him deeper inside, he was at a loss for words. Never before had he heard his wife moan that way. Never before had he heard his wife scream that way as her freshly manicured fingers ripped through endless acres of Black flesh, raking the skin all the way up to the man’s massive shoulders and producing slight trails of blood. Completely consumed in ecstasy, the man continued to pump round after round of primal venom deep within her, rocking the headboard harder and harder...fucking her harder and harder with one hand firmly clasped around her throat. Happy almost hadn’t noticed the bottle of beer collapsing to the floor. The thud it made caused no sound to distract them as he continued further, reaching deeper and deeper inside Candy as no man ever did before. In the heat of the moment, her eyes opened briefly. A brief moment was all that was needed as her blurred vision caught the sight of her husband standing in the door. The sight startled her so much she lurched back, quickly pulling the sheets up over her.

“I lost my job today,” he managed to mumble.

Happy stared at the sight of his wife in bed, cradled under the dark, ebony figure of a man. Suddenly aware of the situation, he slowly turned around to see Happy looking down on him. Nonchalant confusion and depression soon morphed into rage as he saw the man’s face. It was Marcus Halloway. The man quickly crept out of the bed, nearly falling to the floor. Even in the faint light coming in through the window, Happy could still make out the alarming sight of his wife’s creamy lust dripping from what had to be the largest cock he’d ever seen. What followed was a semi- drunken haze of screaming, furniture being tossed to and fro, and a flurry of fisticuffs being thrown about. The night would only get darker...

***

Yes, it’s truly quite amazing how shit happens in the blink of an eye. No job and now a marriage shot to shit due to some arrogant cocksman who nearly ripped my wife to pieces. Fuck my life man. Fuck my life indeed.

Happy lifted the bracing glass of alcohol to his freshly bruised black eye, wincing a little from the pain of what came before.

“Good Lord wake me up I must be dreaming,” a slimy, graveled voice called out to him. “If you don’t look like the sorriest piece of shit I’ve ever seen. I told you a long time ago to leave that bitch alone.”

Through the fog of liquor and depression, Happy lifted his head to see where that familiar voice came from. In the midst of cigarette smoke and debauchery, what he saw standing before him was none other than the face of a man who’d annoyed him relentlessly for many years and had been the very bane of his existence. What stood before him was a shameless, spiteful, despicable, detestable son-of-a-bitch whom you couldn’t believe even if his tongue came notarized. Enter Lawrence Downman, his older brother and the proverbial black sheep of the family. Back in the neighborhood, everyone referred to him as ‘Lucky’. For Happy on the other hand, his luck just got worse…

TO BE CONTINUED IN PART THREE…