What's Cooking?
For Munson's Microfiction (May 2024)
Introduction
This is for Christy Munson's May Challenge that you can read about below.
The music is "Tears" by The Stone Roses
What's Cooking?
"My tears need a minute to find the edges of my face. If you'll please excuse me."
I am always terrible when I am chopping onions, I know that I should cut them in water in the sink bowl, but I always find that too tedious, and start on my chopping board, and then within a few minutes tears are streamimg down my face, I am an absolutely terrible cook.
I always forget how vicious onions can be.
I often have paper cuts from when I am working and my god, and when the onion gets into them, that also brings tears to my eyes as well.
I don't know if I am soft, incompetent or an awful cook. Probably all three.
The thing is I keep doing the same thing. They say that those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it, and that is definitely the case with me, every time that I am chopping onions.
I am chooping to make French Onion Soup, although the is really English Onion Soup and it is a favourite of mine, and this is the recipe that I am using:
The tears are still streaming down my face and probably some have joined the chopped and shredded onions so there will be a little of me in this soup, but I won't tell anyone, I think that people might think the I am a culinary weirdo.
This is only the starter and will be cooking while I chop more onions for the casserole that makes up the main course that I will be serving.
Thank god no one can see me, though the tears are not ones of sadness they are just caused by the viciousness of the onions and the fact that I was so lazy and just decided to cut them on the chopping board.
Although I was surprised that I was trusted to cook this meal, most people would feel more at ease with Hannibal Lecter than I.
It seems to be coming on OK and I am tasting the soup as I put the casserole together, and it is tasting rather nice. I know I can cook perfectly for myself but when it's for others I start to get nervous. I should trust myself more, but when others come into the equation mistakes seem to happen more often.
I am sure my guests will be fine, if they were picky I would not have let them near my table, so I know they will appreciate what I serve them with.
I need to wipe my face, if they see I have been crying they will think that there is something wrong or something bad has happened, when all it is is the onions.
I look at the time and I have a couple of hours so I can leave everything simmering while I go and get a wash, clean up my face, and make myself presentable when I open the door to welcome them in.
Next time I will cut the onions in water, and make sure there are no more onion tears staining my face.
Time to eat.
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Comments (7)
Hmmm - salty tears seasoned the onion soup! Nice job, loved it!!
LOL 😂 . 10/10 for lightning the mood… all the other entries so far are a tiny bit depressing 😆 (including my own in that). Thank goodness for something more superficial and fun 🙏🤍
I love this take on the challenge. Did you need to salt the soup?
Oooo, Hannibel Lecter hehehehehe. Loved your take on this challenge! So creative!
That's why I hate cutting onions... I don't need people asking why I'm upset. Still made me laugh a bit though. Great piece!
The part that there will be a little of you in the soup had me laughing😆
Thank you so much for the entry! A most original take. Out of impartiality I'll leave it there. I have added your entry! Best of luck!