Smartystan

When the horn blew, the crowd chanted. “GO, CRAZIES, GO!” No celebrations or “cellys” meant that the players on the ice just kept the game going. Like toys on a giant table, they ambled and chased, shot and dove, and performed to the best of their ability: average. Dr. Strong brought his girlfriend Lerrica. Her alabaster skin and gray eyes and angular face spoke of attractiveness. But what really grabbed the doctor about her was her master’s degree in Nineteenth Century Russian and American Literature. She smiled at him. The game was really a sad affair. Everyone except for a few players showcased average skills. They displayed even more vicious acts.

“Did he just pass the puck to a player on the opposing side?” Lerrica asked, perplexity painting her face. “On purpose?”

Dr. Strong sighed and said, “Since people are mostly of average ability, they have to allow the other team to score. So, what it all amounts to is a sport of blah….”

“Why are we even here? I want to see some action with these players. There’s no just giving up the puck. You gotta fight. That’s what sports are. They’re another way of fighting in life. You take any athlete that’s of superior ability and you match him with below average players, you have sheer boredom, usually. Only if the athlete with extraordinary skill shows himself to be selfless, that’s the only way for the opponent to win. Some people like this. I don’t.”

“Okay. We can go, then,” Dr. Strong said. “I tried to warn you before the game.”

“Now, I know. Let’s go.”

The couple drove to what was once known as Old New Castle in Delaware. There, they found a bar. It looked cozy. The shimmering lights and shot glasses and the sports fixtures adorned the walls. The place looked pristine because it ran on the idea of excellence.

“Two Barksdales, please,” Dr. Strong announced to the barkeeper.

“I get it. I get it,” Lerrica finally said.

“You get what?”

“I get why you tried to say something ahead of time and then actually show me the ugliness that has plagued the country outside of this one. It’s okay for people to be average. My parents were average. It is a sin, though, to consider that lesser ability a feature rather than a defect in the larger society,” Lerrica said.

They received their beers. “That’s why we got together. We saw the walls crumbling and we wanted to fix it. We know a meritocracy isn’t the ideal. We know that some men and women who claim to be above average are actually miserable creeps.”

“I know you’re fighting. I see you. I know you’re waging a war against incompetence and malaise,” Lerrica observed. Her voice pitched up a bit yet she said the words with even measure in meaning.

“I’m glad to say we’re doing the Lord’s work, even though there’s no Lord.”

“That’s right.”

“With all of the inability or lowered standards of being great, we just saw an opening where we could fill in the emptiness with smart work and love. A profession and a romantic relationship with someone. That’s all I needed, to be truthful.”

“That’s the beautiful part in all of this. That you four were able to accomplish something as close to a utopia as possible. Like you said, merit is something to be valued and cherished but to build an entire society around it is….”

“Hard as hell.”

“Yes, it’s extremely difficult for you to consider people all over the globe who have high intellectual horsepower and those who are just, honest, and possess integrity. It’s going to be a constant fight to try to make sure you have all the pieces in place for a country that once was a state.”

Dr. Strong sipped his beer. He paused for a long time and looked at the monitors. The screens showed a hockey game in the new country that was apart from the world in which they lived. The couple looked at the excellence on ice. The graceful maneuvers, even the fighting, took on a different tone because every player had been conditioned for greatness. Whatever ‘’innate” qualities became amplified and they expressed them to the highest degree.

Lerrica lifted a knife hand and pointed straight at the screen.

“That’s what we didn’t see at the arena. But those thousands of people in the stands are so used to mediocrity, that a meritocratic society is a respite from the influx of such mental and physical filth.”

A low laugh exited from Dr. Strong’s throat. He looked over to the other tables. The cleanliness, the smooth edges, the amount of brainpower that must’ve been in that room astonished him, but didn’t surprise him. “This is true. We take for granted the new country and forever play the game of whether we’re doing what is righteous. I don’t think we have to worry about the world collapsing around the new nation. We just have to keep the stream of great brains and bodies flowing into the gates. That’s always been one thing….”

“What’s that?”

“We’re so conditioned whether it’s participation awards or bumper stickers that read about a child being an honor student at some school. Either there is a paradigm of how even though little Malik didn’t do so well, he’s going to get a prize to make him feel better. Kids know better. The participation prize is a grim joke because you’re dealing with children who know the difference.”

“You mean Malik knows deep down he didn’t achieve and some hunk of plastic with a base will just be fodder for the winning team to make fun of him and his teammates.”

“Exactly. Consider also the honor roll student. Think about Shaqueeta’s good grades. Great grades. That should mark her as a budding productive being on par with the other great children who have attained the status of best in class. Just think about her code. Think about her morals, ethics, and virtues. What is her value system? That’s what we’re still tooling with, now. That balance of where ability and virtue meet.”

Lerrica drank some more of her beer. “Yes, well, I’d take someone….”

“‘....With morality over ability any day….’”

“So, you do know what you’re up against?”

“Of course. That’s why we have so many programs. The first babies are being born here. That gives automatic citizenship. That will maximize opportunities for all the individuals who inhabit the country. In the future, more and more children will be endowed with gifts of knowledge and the difference between good and evil.”

“You make it sound like ancient texts….”

“Trust me. This is no Sunday service. This is the chance of a lifetime for young people to gather together with elders to sustain a world that is not forcing anyone to do anything. We still have connections to the outside area in the US. America’s military, police force, and law courts are all subsumed into our culture.”

“Culture?”

“Yes, that overused word and also misapplied term may find new meaning in this little adventure of ours.”

Lerrica chimed, “I’m ready for an adventure.” She stood to her feet. She took hold of Dr. Strong’s hand and led him out of the bar.