I Was Terrified to Deploy

Joining the military fresh out of high school, I knew I wanted to serve my country. I come from a long line of family members who have served in the Army, such as both my parents, my grandfather, and several cousins.

Since I didn’t exactly know what I wanted to do after high school, I joined the Army to figure my life out and find purpose.

It wasn’t until I arrived at Basic Training, where I learned that we were being trained to engage enemies. At the end of the day, we are going to be on the frontlines doing the job that our country asks of us.

My Drill Sergeant preached that we were being trained to protect and fight. Of course, defending our Nation and her entities, but it took me about a month to realize that we could be going to war.

A potential war with North Korea was very possible.

Conflict with North Korea was heating up at the time of my training. Our Drill Sergeants informed us that a combative conflict typically occurs every ten years, and this was my moment.

Being told that I may deploy right out of training to go and fight a potential World War 3 abroad made me uneasy. I felt regretful and scared. I wasn’t sure if I had made a big mistake by joining the military.

I was eighteen-years-old who didn’t have a clear vision about what to do with my future. I didn’t know what I wanted to accomplish, but I knew I had a lot of potential.

I was afraid to die.

Maybe I had seen too many military movies like Saving Private Ryan, where a lot of kids joined the military and were thrown into terrifying situations.

“Your MOS at the end of the day is Infantry.”

These are the words my drill sergeant told me during boot camp, and he was right. He said to me that no matter what your specialty is when you join the Army, at the end of the day, we are all infantry and have to be ready to fire our weapons.

When I signed up, I joined as an Engineer, so I thought that I wouldn’t see any action, but after hearing my drill sergeant’s words and meeting other engineers, I learned that anything was possible.

Firing on the frontlines with my brothers and sisters in arms seemed like an intense cinematic moment that I would no doubt experience.

Hearing that my future unit hadn’t deployed in a long time, I thought the coast was clear and that I would go my entire contract without deploying.

I was wrong.

My time to deploy eventually came.

After serving a few years in the Army, my time came when I would be serving overseas. I had no idea what my deployment would look like, but if you were in my shoes, you would think that it’s got to be something intense.

After spending nearly a year abroad, doing a bunch of engineer work, I can say that my fear of deploying has disappeared. Here and there, I had a fear of what could potentially come up, but I never saw combat.

As a soldier, we are “always ready.” If something intense like in the movies popped up, I knew that all my training and all the lessons I had learned would have served me well.

Being an engineer in the military asks for a lot. There are countless projects you will work on because there are always ways to grow your AO and make things more convenient for everyone.

I am incredibly grateful for my deployment because it has helped me accumulate an admirable savings account, set money aside for investments, and earn an income during one of the roughest times in the world with the Pandemic going on.

Final Thought

Whether or not you’re thinking about joining the military in any branch, it’s important to be aware of the potential dangers you may endure. At the same time, you must not let fear cripple your decision to do something you’ve always wanted to do.

In life we have to take risks, otherwise we’d live pretty dull lives. In the past year, I have stepped out of my comfort zone more times than I can count on my hands and toes. I am grateful for the people who I’ve learned leadership and engineering skills from.

There are nostalgic feelings as it all comes to an end, but your boy is more than ready to return home. I’ve made plenty of friends for life, and that is a huge victory in itself.

If I can overcome my fear of deployment, then I must be able to overcome any future obstacles in life.