The Day the Laughter Died--An Elegy

💙 For Matthew today. 💙For all the others of yesterday.💙And for all who make us laugh, who laugh through the pain, who wish someone would see the truth--I see you. Your burden is not too much for me to share. 💙

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A deep hollowness has overwhelmed me,

and in perpetual grief I reside.

A day when mirth returns I cannot see--

for you took laughter with you when you died.

*

You offered yourself as a sacrifice,

laid down on the altar of comedy.

But in private you swam in the abyss,

in search of numbness as your remedy.

*

In desperation, you wore a brave face,

giving to others what evaded you.

Temporary relief followed the praise,

but the truth was that pain was all you knew.

*

Years of silent suffering wore you down,

until it was too much for you to bear.

The time had come for you to pass the crown.

And now in your suffering, we all share.

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*** I'm tired of losing the geniuses. The class clowns. The kind and gentle souls who use humor to hide. You don't have to fix me at the cost of yourself. 💙

They gave us the best medicine for our darkest hours. In the laughter we found comfort, but there is no comfort for the Joker who privately swims in the abyss. Seeking the solace only various substances could provide. Until the emptiness of a false remedy overwhelmed them, and whether accidental or intentional (or a natural result of poor lives lived), they refused to continue the charade. And with them, until the next one stands up, the laughter must die. In this tragedy, I further their burden with my grief and guilt, knowing all too well they needed more than just my laughter. And in my grief, words fail me, and I add insult to injury with an elegy not fit for a spider. But perhaps, in its clumsy execution, the plainness does them honor.