Neither Agree Nor Disagree

Come in the front door.

Don’t mind Rufus… he’ll bark,

but then just lay down if you give him a scratch.

He’ll sit in your lap,

but only if you want that.

The lights will be low,

but, of course, turn a lamp on if you like.

Please select a beverage of your choice.

The music has a default playlist,

but there are tons of others…

choose your favorite.

Pick a chair,

straight-back, squishy, recliner, rocker.

You do you.

Feel free to smoke…

or not, whichever.

There’s a small refrigerator

with lots of snacks, even

vegetarian options, if that’s your thing.

Make yourself at home.

Oh, please choose a book from the shelf, too.

I mean if you read, if you want to.

If you’re a reader.

Mi casa es su casa,

while you’re here.

Though I won’t be here when you come,

which I know is kinda funny.

Just fill out the survey

and be sure to watch

the short scenes.

There’s a remote.

Just press play

and then answer the questions.

Disagree.

Neither agree nor disagree.

Agree.

You can leave it,

the survey I mean,

in the chair.

I’ve tried to make it

as simple

as convenient

as easy to understand

as possible.

When you're done you can go…

or hang out with Rufus a bit

if he likes you

and you like him…

Whatever.

Then we’ll go from there.

After a review of your choices…

Of lighting

Of beverage

Of music

Of chair and snack…

Whether you smoke…

Your survey answers…

and, of course, your physiological responses to…

The Big Liebowski

Bridesmaids

Raising Arizona

Amelie

and subtitled film scenes in general,

and the book you choose… or not...

we’ll see if a meeting is something

that might be worth pursuing.

PLEASE… don’t be nervous!

I’m just excited

that I’m finally ready to date

and consider a relationship again.

I'm really looking forward to getting to know you.