May 8th, Her Birthday
an acrostic
Endings aren’t sad. So I tell myself to love
closed doors, locked windows, and stopped clocks
like I crave your embrace in still midwinter.
In two weeks, I will be staring at a closed lid and
pulse my hands beneath my thighs. I will watch the
second hand move as her family enters the door,
ellipsing the not-sad ending like ants. Then, I will smell spring rain through a wide-open pane.
A/N: Addressed to someone different than the "her" who died.
About the Creator
Mackenzie Davis
“When you are describing a shape, or sound, or tint, don’t state the matter plainly, but put it in a hint. And learn to look at all things with a sort of mental squint.” Lewis Carroll
Find me elsewhere.
Copyright Mackenzie Davis.
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Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
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Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
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Before the last 6 months, I hadn’t written anything that wasn’t for my job or university for a number of years. I wanted to write more, I used to write all the time just for fun. I used to write poems and short stories that were just for me. I used to show them to certain members of my family but it was the process of writing them that I really enjoyed.
By Michael Naylor7 days ago in Motivation
Comments (13)
Brilliant. Dense with emotion and things not-said ("ellipsing the not-sad ending like ants"). Congratulations!
wtg Mackenzie!
I'm sad to have missed reading this poem until now. What you've crafted is rendered brilliantly, with tenderness, but without hyperbole. I loved it! Congratulations on the much deserved placement. 🥳
Congratulations on your win and so pleased to see you honoured. Great interpretation of the prompt
Congratulations!!!
This is beautiful. congrats!!
Nice work
"pulse my hands beneath my thighs" Omgggg, that line hit me so hard! Sending you lots of love and hugs ❤️
Striking imagery and full of feeling, this one. The contrast between a locked window and a wide-open pane is neat, and the picture of a grieving family as ants, showing how life goes on, is powerful🙌
‘pulse my hands beneath my thighs’ was such a strong image for me, and I loved ‘ellipsing the not-sad ending like ants’. The last line was just simple and beautiful, a lovely portrayal of detachment from the ceremonies of sadness 💕
I love the nuance in this, holding loss and life at once.
This is gorgeously written but heartbreakingly sad. “ So I tell myself to love closed doors, locked windows, and stopped clocks like I crave your embrace in still midwinter.” Wow, breathtaking
Wow... you return to us, out of the great void of the real world, and you bring with you such amazing gifts, Mackenzie Claus! Thank you so much for this poem. Personally, the line that struck the most with me was "like I crave your embrace in the cold midwinter" Just... damn... you really hit me hard in the feels. Lying alone on the cold midwinter nights this past snowy season was hard. I'd never known that a winter night could be lonely before but after having someone to share it with the previous winter... I finally know what that's like. That line hit me so hard, I don't think I'll be able to properly explain it