Loss of Me

I keep losing

I lost many freedoms

My legs lost their memory of how it felt to run

Now they gained dependence to a walker

I wonder when the two will divorce and leave me to do what I want

I lost friends

Or let’s be realistic

People who used me until they were good

Individuals who understood that my heart was gullible

People you knew my heart and how to take from me

Humans who understood that my soul needed company

They never called, or texted.

I still remember when one of the shallow ones asked for a picture during Covid to see if I was still at all pretty

Same woman who said I would never be as pretty because I was not the shape of a Barbie

The same woman who said for a light skinned girl people don’t think I am as pretty

I lost many freedoms but learning only temporary

I lost many people, but they are just a part of my distant history

I keep losing men, but most say they don’t date cripples

I keep losing parts of my identity but maybe because it is supposed to be a memory

I have changed and now gained new perspective

I have grown and have been showed new aspirations

I lost so much but I have gained a new identity

Sometimes losing means preparing for your new destiny

So, walker

Our relationship is not one I am enjoying, but I am for once using you in the relationship