Gender Is Weird

I look at myself and never recognize the body I'm in,

it's foreign and I don't completely understand it.

I want to put a label on it so my brain can process it and feel justified,

but then I do and it doesn't feel right and I'm back to square one,

not knowing what I am and how to describe the weird sensation of ecstasy and pain all at once.

If you're confused, welcome to the club. We get pins at least.

My hair carried the memories of one gender, so I cut most of it off.

My clothes reminded me of the gender I'm seen as, so I burned them.

Finding the bliss in the purgatory of my gender is impossible, but at least it's fluid...I think.