Dear Mother

Dear Mother,

I know we don't see eye-to-eye on much

but I vividly remember

when we were in better touch.

Do you know when things got messy?

Was it one decade or two

before the spell of youth was broken

and I just saw you for you?

The dam broke; words came spilling out.

We couldn't take them back.

The shift was sudden, visceral,

like a violent attack.

In that moment, walls were built.

They still stand to this day

and I don't think they'll ever fall.

I just wanted to say

I know you did the best you could,

but the effort still fell flat

and I can't seem to let it go.

We will have to live with that

but I can't forgive you yet.

I don't even know if I am able

to heal from the venom dripped

for years at that kitchen table.

Signed, your daughter, the freak.

The imposter, the liar, the sheep.

The fat disappointing failure

and the secret that you keep.