Childhood Wishes

Once again, at this time of year,

I find myself wishing you were here,

and I feel like

a whiny child.

I'm missing me, and I'm missing you,

each one was taken much too soon

and I'd like to

wallow for a while.

This happens to me every year,

where I'm so small, and you're still here

and I do

all the things I should

I paint my handprint on a card,

create a macaroni heart.

I write to you a silly poem

that lets you know you are my home

and sometimes

I want to be a kid again

But she went away,

when you couldn't stay

I miss the you I never knew.

I miss the me I couldn't be

I don't know what it's all about

Why I can't throw these feelings out.

Maybe next year.

If you could hear, then I would say

That I figured out how to be okay

And mostly

I feel so strong

So I take the love that I think you'd give

and I use it in every way I live;

that's how

I learned to get along.

There are so many women just like me

missing this one important link

Dreaming of life if she could've stayed

And maybe

someday, they'll be ok

Just on another day...