Bread Crumbs

I love you from a distance,

it’s all I can do.

I can’t feel you anymore

so I love you from memory.

You see, when I’m with you

I want you close to me

touching me

squeezing my calves,

your hand around the back of my neck

gentle choke-

I want you inside me.

Surrounding me, filling me,

I want you to absorb me.

To be absorbed by you,

my body completely surrendered

at mercy;

sub space.

Giving me up to you

over and over

I want to open my eyes and see you watching me

grinning,

as you do.

Giggling,

cheeky.

I want you in that way,

only that way

when I’m with you.

I love you but you’re resisting me.

I love you but you’re leaving me.

I love you but you’re holding me back.

you hold me

in a memory,

in a moment in a park a year ago.

pie eaten, beers spilled,

wanna smooch on this hill?

I miss you but you linger

like the taste of the marmalade I spread on the bread you baked for me;

distant sweet.

Craving,

but the bread has gone stale sitting on the counter.

I left it, too long I left it

and when I came back for more it was hard and cold and I couldn’t sink my teeth in the way I used to.

But I can’t seem to throw it away.