A Dance of One

You might be direct,

but you have never been consistent,

except perhaps that I could depend on

that piece in our interactions.

It was always so, since the day

my gaze fell on yours.

How do you do it, I wonder?

How do you one moment reflect

on a love you fear you might never find again,

and in the same breath mention that

it hardly crosses your mind.

How could I have been so valued,

and yet so unprioritized over our history

together?

Even now, loved but also feared.

Missed but still better off a stranger.

Perhaps the same way you had

made declarations of a desire to move forward

and of a connection you dreaded losing,

while making choices that took you further away.

Connect and disconnect- that is what I learned

from you.

A dance forever unsatisfying yet sweet all the same.

A paradox, a juxtaposition of two desires.

Not between mine and yours, no;

Between you and yourself.