Two Cats

One year ago, our cat Kali went missing. We were devastated. She was our anchor here in New Zealand when we arrived from Spain.

My husband and I met in Spain and stayed there for 4 months before I decided to whisk us away to New Zealand to reconnect with my family and roots. We were in Auckland and had settled in a rental home for 6 months before Kali made an appearance into our lives. 

From what I saw, Kali embodied a feminine and creative energy. Together, we were bonded like no animal I had ever encountered and we remained together for 6 joyful years. 

When I learnt that she hadn't been seen after several days, I panicked and couldn't stop wondering where she had gone to. She flooded the house with her absence. I began to grieve and tried to share these feelings with my husband but he wasn't ready to accept she had departed from this world so I swallowed my grief and lived somewhat stagnantly. I discovered through my neighborhood's Facebook page that someone had moved a black and white cat with a flea collar to the side of the road. It was Kali.

The day my husband retrieved Kali, we buried our precious pet alongside some treasured items that would nurture her underneath the terrain.

The rain poured down and my husband's face became wetter as his tears escaped from his lamenting eyes.

I remained stoic and shared no grief with my husband for a couple of days. The rain poured and faded out. It seemed to match our emotional waves of grief. My husband had to share his grief and seek comfort with his best friend who happened to be a psychologist while my eyes remained dry and hard.

One night my husband pleaded with me to grieve with him as he said he couldn't do it alone. So I shared his pain and as I did so, the rain slashed down and the skies delivered its tears with ours. 

One day Kali got pregnant.

One day Kali got stuck in a tree.

One day Kali died and the earth wept for her. 

One year later

Much has changed within me and the way I see the world has shifted where I no longer can think or speak the same.

Over the past year, I have become more grounded and as our anchor departed, so did our desire to stay in New Zealand. We decided to move back to Spain. My husband commented that it took the death of Kali to decide that we should move. We would have never made a decision like that if Kali was still in the picture.

As I write this, her son Kali-like (we named him before we knew we were going to keep him) is snuggled next to me. He's her equivalent but his masculine energy emanates patience and wisdom. He was opposite to Kali with his personality but without the strength of Kali, I'm not sure Kali-like would be who he is today. He suffered greatly when we moved houses while his mother acted like nothing happened. Kali-like survived a road accident and made his way home battered and limping. He lost his hip joint as it couldn't be put back into place properly but he came through the whole process a little wiser.  

I understand more about the feminine and masculine energies through my masters represented in cat form.  

Feminine energy and masculine energy can co exist together and one is not better than the other. They both shine through when they are utilized and they even empower me when I'm dealing with people at work or family.

I understood myself as a woman with my feminine energy, but over the past year, after Kali's death, I have learnt so much about masculine energy that I have succeeded in trying to understand men rather well. I can go to work and connect with any man. It doesn't matter what role they play, I can talk to them without hesitation if I need to.

In the past I was super shy with guys and men were treated as enigmatic. They were mysterious with their selection of women, who they gravitated toward and what made them smile.

They are heaps of fun, they like a good laugh and they don't like drama. They mean well, even if that's not what one might perceive. Many are boys in men's bodies and rarely I sometimes come across a real man.

Men and women are the physical manifestations of the masculine and feminine. I have tapped into both energies within myself and I feel empowered and strong.

I am both energies whilst I live as a woman on this earth.

Both Kali and Kali-like are the same but they are uniquely different -

both have qualities which are necessary to achieve a harmonious balance as a human. Creativity, patience and wisdom.