5 Powerful Lessons from My Teenage Self That Remind Me to Be a Better Adult

For the most part, becoming an adult has been a fascinating process.

I’ve watched myself as I carved my personality, forged my sense of identity, left some people behind and discovered what I wanted to do with my life.

At 21, I still don’t have everything figured out. But I’ve managed to settle down on many points. I’ve achieved some sort of security in who I am and who I wish to become.

There are things I miss about who I used to be, though. It seems to me that in the process of finding myself, I forgot about some of the principles and ideas that made me so very myself only a few years back.

The scariest thing about becoming an adult is that you can so easily lose the child inside of you.

Which is why I’m here to remind us all the important lessons we can learn from our past selves.

Antoine de Saint-Exupéry said:

“All grown-ups were once children… but only few of them remember it.”

Let’s make sure we’re among the few.

Fighting for what you believe in matters.

I was always a naïve teenager. The one who said she’d never own any guns because of Kant’s Categorical imperative— if nobody had guns, the world would be a better place for it.

I was going by example. The principle mattered.

“What if someone goes into your house with a gun and you have nothing to protect yourself with?” asked my classmates.

I was set on my decision. “Then I die. It’s better to die for principles and virtue than to live with a twisted soul.”

I’m not sure I’d agree 100% today, and that’s fine, but what this teaches me is that fighting for a better world still matters.

Now that I’ve found a partner I’d love to have a family with one day, my mind is focused on things such as having a house, raising children and making sure I earn enough money doing what I love. Those are all valid things to concentrate on because they’re a huge part of what will make me happy.

But sometimes, you need to look outside of your own house. Look at the world. Look at other people’s dreams and goals, at their misfortune. Think about how you can help. How you can spread the message of kindness, how you can still be that passionate naïve dreamer even as an adult.

Because as an adult, you actually have the means to do something about it.

You have more opportunities to change the world.

I’ve let some of my old ideas go, but some of them I still deeply cherish — I care about climate change, I’m on a plant-based diet, I want to have a low waste household and grow my own food. I write about feminism, healthy relationships and self-improvement.

Find your own way of fighting for the cause you believe in. Re-connect with your idealistic teenage self. And prove to them that you can and will make the world a better place.

Go after your dreams.

It’s so very easy to settle down and give up on your ambitious goals.

Your teenage self says no. Listen to it.

At 13, I told my Czech parents I wanted to go to study in Scotland. My mum thought I wasn’t being serious. Not many people believed me. My English sucked at the time, and I was “only a child.”

Six years later, I arrived in Scotland with an acceptance letter for a five-year degree, a certificate that my English was on a native speaker level and a broad smile on my face.

At just 19, I changed my life. I chose to risk everything, move into a different country and make my dream come true. I’m still reaping the rewards of this decision — Scotland has become a home, I’m in my third year at a university and I’ve learned countless invaluable lessons.

The children within ourselves remind us that taking the risk is always worth it.

I’ve listened to the song Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson at least a few hundred times at this point, and her words still inspire me and remind me of how I held on to my dream for six long years:

“I’ll take a risk; Take a chance; Make a change; And breakaway”

Pursue your dreams. Make them come true. You won’t regret trying.

Work sucks — play is better.

There’s this strange mindset among adults — they aspire to be overworked and stuck in a job they don’t enjoy for the sake of their family.

Let’s throw this stupid idea out of the window.

Becoming an adult doesn’t mean you should stop playing. On the contrary, with all the responsibilities weighing on you, you need to play more than ever.

We should spend our lives pursuing self-growth, exploration of the self and the world, and engaging in activities that fulfil us. Work can be enjoyable, as long as it’s meaningful. As long as a part of it is also play.

I’ve worked in hospitality part-time jobs since I was fourteen and let me tell you something — they suck the life out of me. Work without purpose is just draining your energy, making you feel like you might just as well be already dead.

Find a job that fulfils you. That sparks your interest. That makes you excited to wake up every day.

Don’t be stuck in a job you hate just for your family — in the end, we should lead by example. If your children see you pursuing your dreams, they’ll learn to do it themselves.

You’ll inspire them with your actions.

If you’re stuck in a job you hate out of fear or sense of security, think about what your ten-year-old self would say.

As far as you know, you might only have this one life. Seize it. Enjoy it. Engage in play. Life is to be enjoyed, not endured.

Children are often right.

How I despised it every time my dad told me: “You have no clue what you’re talking about. You’re only a child.”

I could acutely see the things he was missing, and yet he refused to listen to me because of some feeling of age-connected superiority.

It’s easy to forget what it was like to be a child. To go through revelations about the world, to gather basic knowledge, to deal with roaring emotions for the first time. To see the problems around yourself and have nobody take you seriously because you’re just a child.

As if being a child meant you’re something less. We all know all too well that being a child is actually the best.

So, let’s listen to children when they speak. Let’s remember what we felt like at their age. Let’s take their issues seriously because they are serious for them at this point in their lives.

Children are often right. They notice things adults wouldn’t.

Respect them for what they are.

Wow, school does suck.

At least school as I know it.

The educational system in the Czech Republic is very much based around memorisation. Information, information, information.

When you study or prepare for exams, you don’t write essays. You don’t try to solve problems. You stare at a paper and repeat every single point in your head or out loud until you manage to imprint it into your brain. Then you spit this information on the paper during the exam.

After which you proceed to forget it because you need to cram so much new information for five other subjects. This goes on until you graduate from a university with a certificate that could just as well say: “The best robot in the class.”

Studying in the UK has taught me to reflect, write in a coherent way and draw parallels between things. Remembering information is not focused on at all, though, and so sometimes I feel like I have no actual proof that I’m supposed to be a sort of a ‘specialist’ on the subject.

We aren’t tested on general information about history or literature, even though it’s important to know these things when you study languages and literature itself. I know so little, it makes me feel like a fraud. What I do know is from my high school education in the Czech Republic.

See the problem?

These two systems should merge. Otherwise, it sucks.

I’m planning to put my children in an alternative school where they can learn in a way that makes it fun. Learning is beautiful and it should be enjoyed. Why is it that almost every child hates it then?

When children complain about school, adults should be understanding. We went to school too. Only because we don’t have to do it anymore doesn’t mean it got better.

Let’s advocate for better education. It doesn’t concern us anymore, but it concerns our future generations.

And that’s something definitely worth investing into.

The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry is one of my favourite books of all time because it speaks some raw truth about how adults forget themselves in the process of getting on with life.

We forget what it felt like to be joyful. To run around the garden, exploring, playing, pretending. To believe in miracles. To be at one with the world and to forget worries.

When I was a teenager, I promised myself I would never grow into an adult with a closed-mind who only cares about numbers and facts. I promised myself I would always remember what it felt like to be young and excited.

I intend to keep that promise.

The shadows of who we used to be as children still live inside of us. Let’s not forget them.

“Only the children know what they are looking for.”

― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince

This article was originally published here.