Gratitude For Being A Better Person

Who in your life makes you want to be a better person? Rupi Kaur Gratitude Writing Prompts

First of all, I want to be a better person for me. I work on it. I have been working on it for 45 years. I have been in recovery since 1978 and I fully intended to be a better person by now. I am better and I can continue to be a better person until the end!

When I was younger, I wanted to be a better person for everyone else. How could I be so they would like me? That was me then. A chameleon of sorts. How I fit in was the question. Not simply being okay with who I am.

As time moved on, I wanted to be a better person for my children. I wanted them to be spared from some of what I went through as a child. I thought it made sense that if I was better then they would be too.

Now I have grandchildren and great-grandchildren. I still believe the same thing. And I want to be a better person for them!

Happiness is seeing my children doing well. And I am hopeful that my grandchildren do well. There are some questions, of course when there is a large family.

Sometimes I regret that our religious freedom only happened in 1978. I decided to let my children name their faith and beliefs. Now I see my grandchildren appearing to struggle with that. Studying world religions. Trying out this or that religion.

One of the areas that has made a difference in my doing well is spirituality. I grew up first as a Catholic, going to four grades of Catholic school. My experience wasn't that of many. My fourth-grade teacher who was a nun, helped me through a time when my dad died.

Then I was married in the Catholic church. About 15 years later, I was divorced, and I could have gotten an annulment as the priest said considering my circumstances, i.e. alcoholic marriage, I could complete the paperwork and I would get it. It wasn't important to me at the time.

The Lutheran church is the next place I was married. We went through the marriage preparatory class with the minister. My second husband and I didn’t attend church there. I was married for 10 years, and we were together for 14 years. I know little to nothing about the Lutheran church.

My spirituality comes from my recovery and has been steady since I started my recovery path at age 24.

My third marriage is the charm. Both of us are in recovery. We were married in a church. All Nations Assemblies of God church. A minister friend of mine married us. We have been together now since 2000, and married in 2004.

Do all my church weddings mean I am a Christian? It doesn’t mean I am not Christian. If Christian means "Christ-like". I can continue to work toward that in my life and each day.

For a fact, I am not good at following all the rules of Christianity. I do respect others’ beliefs, even though I may not practice their faith. I have both friends and family that are very involved in Christianity.

I like to believe that I got to the right place without church, the bible, or Christian fellowship. I have a relationship with a God of my understanding and that God is a kind and loving spirit and in the Ojibwe language the name is Giizhaymanidoo.

My fellowship is with my recovering friends and my family. My mother used to tell her friends that I have two families. One is A an A. She was never very clear about what I was doing in my recovery. I encouraged her to try the family group for a trial. Instead, she went to Emotions Anonymous with a friend of hers. I know little to nothing about that.

Later in life, I plan to continue with prayer and meditation. To follow our seven grandfather teachings, continue with the water ceremony on Sunday, and be kind and loving to all. I will remember that I am not perfect, I don’t have to like everyone, and I will not do this perfectly.

What I have become comfortable with knowing is that no one knows when their time is up. We certainly didn’t expect our sister to die, not even one year after our mother. Well, my mother may have known, as just before she died, she said, “I am dying before any of my children die.”

That must be the hardest thing in life to see a child die. A parent and sibling are difficult enough. Some of us have more conditions than others, so we should go first, right? Not necessarily so. Is it that the good die young? I hope to know those answers at some point.

Now, I have work left to do before going anywhere. I thank God for knowing that. Yes, there is always more to do!

More to come, as long as I am able, I will continue to live life and do what I can!