Up, Close and Personal

It has been a while since I felt the need to give an interview. I always knew, that is something that comes with the job. However, I never liked it that much. One of the reasons for that is, that I always wanted the story to be in the spotlight and every interview puts the writer first and the story second. I don’t think, it is important who I am when it comes to the stories I write.

But I also learned that the creation always is connected to its creator and the people have a huge interest in everything “Behind the scene”.

When I read the self-interview by Paul Stewart here on vocal I kinda liked the questions and immediately started to ask myself, how would I answer to it.

Why do I like these questions so much? Perhaps, because it shows the world how my life, my daily routine as an author actually is and how I feel about writing. These are questions I never had to face in an interview before. I actually learned a lot about myself while answering them and I hope you find this self-interview as entertaining as I did.

What type of writer do you feel you are?

I feel that I am an experimentational writer who loves to explore new boundaries. I like to create stories that are settled between the old-fashions way of writing and the modern daily life without following the given rules strictly. I don’t know, if there is such a thing as an educational writer, but for sure I like to explore the human psyche and all the depths of human life and the modern society to create a better life for every living being on this planet.

What type of writer do you want to be?

During my childhood I would have answered with, I want to be the best writer that ever have lived on this planet. Now, the answer to that has changed a lot. I simply want to be the one who entertains the people, gives them a short break from their daily routine and maybe, hopefully, makes their lives a little better than it had been before.

What do you like about yourself as a writer?

Funny, but disturbing: the first things I came up with, were those things I hate about being a writer. As said earlier, I still feel pretty uncomfortable with being the center of attention, but most of it, I hate writing itself. What I really like about being a writer is the learning part. The part where I reserch the stories and all the great things I learn with it. I learn a lot with every story I write, I discover new poets, authors and a lot about our history, our planet etc. That is the best thing about writing for me. And of course, that part is something the public hardly ever sees. The hours of reserch, of watching documentaries, reading books and reports about certain topics. It is that what keeps me writing.

Another aspect of being a writer I really learned to love is the reader. I do love the feedback, when a reader tells me how my creation had an impact on his life. The story I still love to tell, is the message of a mother who read “The Lion Prince” to her daughter while her son made homework. She invited her son, too, yet he refused because he was too old for a kids story. However, he interrupted his homework to secretly lissten to his mother reading the story. He liked it a lot. What surprised his mother. These small moments are treasures for me and still motivates me to go on writing.

What do you look for in other writers?

Honesty and entertainment. Whenever I read something I want to lose myself in it, want my mind to become one with the story, so that it can carry me out of the reality. I have no specific genre I prefer to read. For me, the story matters and every genre has some great creations that made an impact on my life and my mind. I also learned, that the story fails when the author is not honest. Some authors write for money only and their stories can’t capture my mind. I kinda look for the “Neverending Story” in each and every book I read.

What do you not like about yourself as a writer?

I already answered it I guess. Time, is the honest answer. Being a writer means to spend hours of being alone in front of a screen, putting together the right words. When the story is done, you think you have fanished, the very same story starts again, revising it, editing it. So it takes a huge amount of time. And this time I have to spend alone. The loneliness of the writing process is something I don’t like at all.

Which writing genre or category do you feel is your best?

Short stories, for sure the category I love the most. But to be honest, I don’t think in such limited boxes. The story has to decide the genre and the length. The category will be choosen by the amount of words and I never decide how long a story should be in advance. I just tell the story the way it wants to be told and afterwards come the classification from the outside world.

And poetry. When I started to be a published author, they made me chose between novelist (even as a short story writer) and poet, told me, that I cannot be both, when I want to be serious. I am not sure that this has changed now, but for me, I will never chose between those both. I love writing poetry as much as I love writing short stories (or as I normally say it, I love telling stories).

In which genre or category do you feel the most challenged?

I never felt challenged by any genre, simply because the story will chose it and I tells me what and how to write it. No matter what genre we chose, no matter how different the genres are, their stories always follow the same rules, the same construction. The location and races might change, but that’s all. For me, the most challenged category is the novel. So far I only finished one, and my laptop decided to die before I could safe it on the external drive. Two more novels are slowly coming to an end. What really challenge me with it, is the amount of time it consumes to create one.

When did you first start writing?

When I answer with all my life it is kinda true, as well as the answer, the moment the school taught me how to write. There is no real date of the exact time it started. As long as I can think, I was taught creative things. One of the earliest memory of my grandfather and me is how we walked along a beach, most likely in Denmark, where he taught me the rhyme schemes. I gave me a word, and I had to find a good rhyme for it. Then he used my answer to find another rhyme. And so on. And this game first ended in 1995, when he died.

The oldest, still existing poem is from 1988, I recorded it on tape. As far as I can remember, it was not the first one, but whatever had been before that, is lost by now. Writing storys started at school, as part of the lesson and homework. First when I get a six months punishment of house arrest, I started to write down stories. Before that I love playing with lego and playmobil and create my own stories with it, I kinda made my own movies, imagined how I did a movie, played scene for scene and invented whole stories that way. And I still do it. I don’t imagine the story word by word, I imagine it scene by scenes, not nessarily in the correct order. Writing is like making a movie for the mind.

Why do you write?

Because it became a habit over the years. During my childhood writing was the way to deal with my loneliness, my escape from reality. And in some ways nothing has changed. I like to entertain the world, without being the centre of attention. And over the years I learned how extraordinary our languages are and it is great fun the experiment within its boundaries. The entertaining part of it, is still the main reason. However, more and more I also want to educate people about our society and the depth of human psyche.

This last question is off-topic. if you could be part of any television sitcom family, which one would it be and why?

Already as a child I dreamed of being a member of the Seavers. And still “Growing Pains” is one of my favorite tv shows of all times. The reason is based on my own childhood. Despite all the problems the Seavers had, they still managed to be a happy family, stayed united as a family. So they had something I desired for all my life and never found it myself. I would have loved to be the boyfriend of Mike. I really had a crush on Kirk Cameron. That would have been the perfect role for me.

To be honest makes you vulnerable. And as usual, that is only one side of it, the other half is the opposite. To be honest gives you a strength that nobody can defeat. To answer these question honestly will create a reaction on both sides. Some will hate me, some will salute me for doing it. At least that is the lesson I learned from German authors and readers.

It totally felt liberating for me and I simply has nothing to hide. Over the last three decades I already stated that I am not sure that I like writing that much. Of course it has its good moments, things I really love about it, as well as it has the dark side, I easily could give up again. The only problem is, giving up the dark side also gives up the good moments, that I want to keep.

The life of a writer is hard. Sometimes it feels like we are giving up normal human life to create and entertain the world. During the last decade I had a middle existence crises where I asked myself what life I actually would have choosen, when the certumstances would have been different. And despite all the negativity, the true answer is, I still would be a writer. It runs through my veins so it is not created by the outside world but by my inner spirit.

With that inner demon defeated, the next stories can come and I am really looking forward to entertain you again.

From the buttom of my heart I want to thank you for reading me. If you want to know more about me and my creations, feel free to visit my profile read my stories and poetry.

Yours sincerly

Krishan Mubashar