Witches and Science and Rocks, Oh My

I’ve been thinking about this since Thursday. It was one of those, “crap, I posted my article, but I feel like this should have been a part of it, an expansion of it, the thing that really drives it home” moments. It came just moments after publishing, and after spending several hours writing that article but I didn’t want to pull it, my brain was tired, and it was just going to have to be good enough. Ironically enough, it was apparently perfect as it was because it was chosen as a top story. So, there is certainly a lesson in there somewhere.

All that to say, I didn’t go make changes, and I’m glad because as I sit here and write this, it is clear to me that the two articles are related, but more like siblings or cousins versus mother and child. If you don’t feel like going back to read it, even though all you must do is click this little link, I’ll give you the cliff’s notes. Basically, my whole life I’ve bounced around from one hobby or interest or life plan or career to another, and felt shame for it until I learned the word multipotentiality, and now I realize that I just believed that I could be good at anything I tried- that I saw my own potential in so many things- and that there is nothing wrong with that, and in fact, that is not shameful and actually probably pretty healthy and a solid measure of good self-esteem. But what I didn’t include in this is the winding road of self-help/self-discovery/healing journey and all the things I’ve tried or haven’t tried, but how I think they are not the same things but seemed like sort of the same thing, but not really; the common thread being that I will try just about anything. Again, cousins.

So now that you are up to speed- let’s dive in. Many, many years ago, my now husband mentioned something about his ex-wife, and it was something he mentioned so casually, that he probably doesn’t even remember. But for whatever reason, it has stuck with me all these years and I realize it likely has to do with the shame I’ve been carrying around about how often I dive into new things. I most certainly internalized it even without realizing it. (Seriously, it may be worth going back to read the last article, so you have an idea of what I’m talking about.) But he just mentioned how his ex-wife would always jump on the latest and greatest self-help wagon but would never commit to anything. Maybe he didn’t say it in those exact words, but you get the picture. It wasn’t a loaded statement, perhaps a little on the judge-y side, but this is his ex-wife we are talking about here, so I don’t hold anything against him. But I think about that more than I should because I, Morgan Longford, do the same things. And if he felt she was flakey, would he think the same thing about me?

Here’s the thing: I do try lots of new things. I think that is part of growing as a human. If you aren’t willing to try new things, to make yourself a little bit better every day, then what’s the point of anything? And since I am human, and wildly imperfectly perfect, and I have flaws and shortcomings, short tempers and large emotions and some baggage I would love to set down permanently, I am willing to try just about anything. Because for the most part, what do I have to lose? How will I find out what clicks or sticks or makes me feel less anxious if I don’t bounce around from thing to thing? Sometimes things plateau, you know? So why would you stay in one metaphysical place if you’ve gotten all the magic you can from it? ESPECIALLY WHEN THERE IS MAGIC EVERYWHERE AND LIFE IS A BUBBLING CAULDRON OF HERBS AND SPICES AND PIXIE DUST.

Over the years, I have tried a little bit of everything to be better, to know myself better, to be a better daughter, a better friend, a better sibling, a better businessperson, and a better spouse. I’ve read a multitude of self-help books, and generally speaking, those do not land with me. That is not, if you will, my modality. Can I take away some valuable insight and information? Of course. But books feel very… clinical to me… like an instruction manual… and that is not how I do my best learning. So, I can take notes, and I can try and follow along and do all the exercises in the back of the book, but that is not my forte. It’s like every self-paced thing I’ve ever told myself I would complete, like the online excel class, but never did. I need the energy, and accountability, from other people. Like a therapist. I’ve learned that cognitive behavioral therapy has been my personal best approach to tackling certain demons. The gentle guidance and soft voice of my therapist reminding me that I am not, in fact, stupid, and her kind redirection to remind me of how smart I actually am, has taught and changed more in me than bookwork will, and I am a very good student.

This was a great foundation for me and allowed me to feel far more comfortable with positive affirmations that I SWEAR I will do every morning when I wake up and every night before I go to bed. And typically, I will. In the beginning. And honestly the magic that I see start to happen in my life is incredible when I maintain that practice, and then my routine will change, or I stop noticing my reminder on my mirror before I have fully ingrained into my life as a daily habit, and then I stop. But then! Maybe weeks later, months, years later I think- oh yeah! I liked doing those, let me try again! For the record, I have been saying positive affirmations almost every day this week by singing along to Snoop Dogg’s “Affirmation Song,” while dancing and wiggling around, and definitely before I look at my phone, because I also just recently learned that using your phone too soon after waking up fucks up your brainwaves and sends you into a state of stress and tension- something about theta waves- AND that there is something called “somatic shaking” that will change your life if you do it every morning, so this is my new routine. To sing along with Snoop for five minutes while wiggling around and saying affirmations for the day. Because this is what feels good to me right now, and this week, my anxiety feels incredibly manageable, and my overall mood seems to be pretty good. I love to think I will do this every morning until I am ninety. We will see.

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These are all science-based approaches to a better day, and ultimately a better life. There is data that supports all the above. The brainwaves, affirmations, the somatic shaking. So that feels good. I am doing something that science tells me works. Pro-tip: you have to say the affirmations out loud. You have to feel them. Saying them inside your brain does not work the same. Again, science. But I tried a different type of affirmation which was wildly powerful- and if you haven’t tried this, I highly encourage it. Someone suggested it to me, and I said, OK, I will try it. Mostly, if we are doing affirmations, I think it is safe to say that they generally go something like this: “I am limitless. I am healthy. I make good choices. I am loved…” or whatever resonates. BUT! The first time I did this other method, I burst into tears. I stood in from of the mirror, looked myself in the eye, and said all of those things but replaced “I” with “You.” Looking at myself, I told myself all the things I needed to hear. And even though you know it’s still you talking, and it’s you talking to yourself, there is something different about it. So, I do both depending on what I need that day. Is there something you needed to hear from a parent? A spouse? Tell it to yourself. It’s weird but trust me on this. Your inner child will thank you, and we all have one.

I am going to take a short detour right now and just thank my husband. His patience, and willingness to try some of these things with me is pretty cool. It is not uncommon for me to burst into our bedroom in the morning and say, I SAW THIS THING WE NEED TO TRY SO GET UP. And next thing you know, he is wiggling about our bedroom with me like one of those inflatable dancing man-things outside of a going out of business sale at a furniture store to the Jackson 5 because SOMATIC SHAKING WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE. I’m sure sometimes it is annoying, I am sure that some days he would prefer to try his own things, but I just love him and if this is some new way to make him feel less stressed, I am not going to gatekeep. I just want him to be happy, so try this breathing exercise and then repeat after me and then kiss this little red rock and put in under your pillow. Because sometimes you need more than science. Sometimes you need rocks.

I have bowls full of rocks. We call them special rocks. And under a full moon, I put them out on the balcony so they can be cleansed. I fill jars with water and let them marinate in the moonbeams so when we drink our moon water, we can manifest our dreams with the Lunar power pumping through our bodies. I have him writing down things he wants to release and burning the paper he wrote them on, and I have him following me around blowing cinnamon in the front door at the first of the month. I’ve adjusted our diets to be more ayurvedic, feeding our constitutions (which is very hard and didn’t last long.) He now knows, thanks to me, that the kitchen is the room in the house that controls money according to Feng Shui, so we need to keep it clean. We burn sage to clean the energies. I encourage him to meditate every morning because that is the surefire way to achieving your goals and clearing your brain clutter, even if I don’t have a regular practice myself.

I will interject, once again, that when I have a regular meditation practice, morning and night, my feathers are far less inclined to be ruffled. I may, however, get a little insufferable because I want everyone to feel as light and clean as I do, and don’t mean to be pushy but I know I am. It is just because I want the people in my life that I love to feel as nice on the inside as I do, and I feel confident that these things will help, but it is a fine line- especially on the science side of things. I don’t think I am doing a good job of explaining this little last bit, so maybe I will try in another article, rather than mess with it here. Just know, loved ones, if I seem to be pushy about something, it is because I truly believe it would help you and has nothing to do with “because that’s the way I do it.” I encourage things because as far as the science stuff goes at least, we know that certain things are universal, like meditation, and there is literally no one that it hasn’t helped, and if I feel good and know that if would make you feel good, that is all my heart wants. For you to be happy and light. So if you’re grumpy, try this because it works for me and I’m certain it will work for you!

There is a spiritual side to it all as well. Prayer. Faith. Believing that God made all the special rocks and flowers and crystals and plants for our healing, so it really isn’t that weird to carry a quartz in your pocket. But at the end of the day, yes. I bounce from thing to thing. Yoga to pagan rituals to prayer to a manifestation journal to the law of attraction to affirmations in the mirror. But I don’t think it is bad. I think it means I am open to possibility, and that I listen to my intuition, listening to what my body and mind need. Different things will do different things at different times. One doctor may suggest something a different doctor disagrees with. So, you try different things. Your morning routine shifts with the seasons. Some days the affirmations feel more important than the dancing, and some mornings I may just put a rock in my pocket instead of visualizing my future, trusting that the rock I chose is the right one for the day. But at least I try. At least I try to find the things that make me feel gentle to myself and to others, or to release negative energy or to reduce stress and anxiety. I try to find the things that keep me hopeful and optimistic instead of thinking the sky is falling. Like. We literally know that visualization and manifestation work, so let me clear the way to the future I want, right??

Is there a point to any of this? I mean, probably not. It was mostly an afterthought to the article I wrote, but an extension of how I am willing to try new things to see what sticks. Sometimes I revisit things, sometimes I move on and never look back. Sometimes I think, man, things really started transforming when I did that 30-day gratitude journal, and I should bring that back. But even if there isn’t a point, it still felt worth writing. Maybe writing, in and of itself, is just as powerful as the moon water, and we can toss it in the cauldron with everything else and trust that concoction of magic, faith, science and the self will create the exactly perfect potion to drink from when the time is right.