Adam Tries to Help

Adam flips the business card over, and dials. He wants to find a way to fund this man’s dreams. Adam has been writing a short story where Camilo is the main character, but he is also someone Adam met in real life — at an event where Camilo was building a cob oven in a mutual friend’s backyard. The phone rings and rings, but there’s no answer. Adam doesn’t leave a message, not knowing what to say.

He has been feeling his privilege strongly lately, and wants to do something to make the world a better place. In the story Adam is writing, Camilo has a little black notebook that brings what he writes into being, like magic. He wants to ask Camilo what would be in his notebook so he can help manifest it in the real world. Quality time with his kids, he imagines. This seems like something that could be secured with extra funds. But what else would he wish for?

It seems ridiculous to Adam that we live in a world where so many people struggle when there is so much abundance. He gave Uncle Tom his winning lottery ticket because the $20,000 he won wouldn’t really have made a difference in his life, and his uncle had lost his income and housing. He doesn’t think Camilo is struggling, but he is on the hamster wheel of survival, and Adam would love to see the man thriving. The people he went to prep school with buy extra houses and expensive things like boats and electronics because they don’t know what else to do with their money. Sure, they donate to foundations, but foundations aren’t necessarily doing the good in the world that’s needed. Folks like Camilo are better placed to know how to make that kind of difference, but they wouldn't meet, unless they happen to be at a party where he’s doing natural building...which he isn’t doing lately because he’s working all day. Camilo is educated, too, he has a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology — but makes more money lately doing commercial property renovations.

It’s such a sad story that there are so many people suffering, when so many could help if they could make living wages sharing their skills. He knows Camilo would make a great therapist, and could even host healing retreats — but there is something about needing to be licensed to do that kind of thing, which takes time and money. Maybe what is needed is a path for people to get well compensated for helping others without having to go back to school. Adam wonders what that could look like...

Adam thinks he himself could use some people who are good with helping people around him. The perfect thing for Adam would be a place to go and get his hands in the dirt, where someone cooks amazing food that really nourishes, where there are pools to soak and swim...community fires at night with drums and storytelling. “Community Camaraderie Cures” — or something. Adam knows he’s been depressed, and self-medicating, but he doesn't think he would need to in a place like this. Community seems to be the cure for many things not solved by throwing money at it.

Adam’s phone rings, startling him. It’s a “732” number that looks familiar. Adam answers the call, “Hello?” He puts it on speaker and gets up to pace the hardwood floor in his thick wool socks, sliding a little as he turns.

“Hello? Someone called from this number?” Camilo says, over sounds of a baby cooing.

“Hi, yes. This is Adam — we met once at a party at Antinanco where you were building a cob oven. I just found your card, and thought I’d give you a call. Is now a good time to talk?”

“I need to feed the baby, so it depends on how undivided you need my attention to be, ” Camilo laughs good-naturedly, sounds of water running in the background. “Hi, Adam. Thanks for the call. I think I remember you. What’s up?”

“Oh, well I don't want to take a lot of your time. It's silly, really. I’ve just been sitting with how much privilege I have, wondering how I can make a difference in the world. I keep thinking about you and your sweet family, and wondering what I might be able to do to help you. I'm writing a short fiction story where the main character is based on you. And in it he has a magic notebook, and whatever he writes in it comes true — and...I wanted to see if I could help you out in real life.”

“Aww, that’s sweet of you to think about us! How kind! We’re ok though, we’re doing just fine,” Camilo says, surprised.

“Of course you are,” Adam says quickly, feeling embarrassed, wishing he’d called his friend Bea to roleplay this first before making the connection. “I didn’t mean to imply you weren’t! I guess I just wanted to know, if you had a magic notebook and could change your world by writing in it, what you might write.”

At that, the baby begins to cry. “I am going to have to call you back. I’ll think about it and call you when I have more time to think.” Camilo says, politely, and ends the call.

Adam feels cringey, fearing he’s offended Camilo. He's not even sure he remembers him, and that was kind of a lot to drop on someone trying to feed a baby, too. Oof. And it's hard to know what to say to help without it being awkward. How might he feel if someone called him and said what he just had? Adam sighs and puts his head in his hands. Maybe this would have been better in an email, he thinks. Adam goes to his bar and free pours himself a shot and a half of vodka into a whiskey glass, spilling a few drops on the granite top — the blue flecks sparkling in the wetness. He cradles the glass in his palm, swirling the liquid, transfixed by the movement of it.

“How can I help the world?” Adam wonders aloud. Maybe he could start a foundation? He could get a stack of these little black notebooks, and give them out and collect wishes. “Maybe if I knew what people wanted, I could find folks to help? Yeah, but maybe I'm the one who needs help,” Adam thinks, as he takes a big sip of swirl. “Maybe I should take my therapist’s advice and focus on me.”

Adam pours himself another drink and steps out onto the balcony. There's the small puddle on the decking where the dangling spider plant drips when he waters it. He tries to avoid the spot, but steps in it anyway, soaking through the toes of one sock.

The phone in his pocket dings. Balancing the glass of vodka in the palm of one hand, he pulls the phone out of the back pocket of his jeans with the other. It's an email, a newsletter from a foundation he's donated to. He sits on a lounge chair and scrolls through it. They've painted one of the sitting rooms in a children's hospital, and planted some flowers in a window box. The newsletter is full of photos of smiling children. He puts his phone down in disgust. I want my money to make an actual difference, he thinks. Why is this so complicated?

“Call Bea,” Adam says to his phone, watching it do as he asks. At least something works the way I want it to, Adam thinks.

“Hi, Adam?” Bea says. “I just got off the phone with Camilo, did you call him? He said a guy he met at Antinanco called about a magic notebook. It sounded like you. Was it you?”

“Oh...hi, Bea. Yeah, that was me,” Adam says slowly. “Was he offended?”

“No, he was just confused, Adam. Not offended. What’s going on?” Bea says.

“Oh, well, I’ve just been reflecting on my life and how I could be making so much more of a difference in the world,” Adam says, tears welling in his eyes. “And when I bungled that call I heard my therapist in my head telling me I was the one I needed to help, but then I poured a drink and I’m kind of a mess.”

“Oh, I hear you,” Bea says, wanting to give him a hug and comfort him. “It’s such a hard time to be alive right now.”

“Yeah,” Adam says. “So I’m drinking about it.”

“Yeah, I get it,” Bea says. “What were you hoping Camilo would do for you? Help you write this story? Is it another writing contest, or something?”

“Well, it started out that way...but then I thought I could actually help in real life, you know? Maybe do a fundraiser for his family so he doesn’t have to work for someone else and can focus on doing the work in the world he wants to do — the work the world needs more people to be doing, and can spend quality time with his kids.”

“That’s really sweet, Adam. Camilo is a good friend of mine, actually, I’d love to see that happen for him! We talk about it often. I keep trying to connect him with my herbalist friend Nicholas, too — they are on opposite sides of the country, but I think they could build a beautiful healing facility together. But both of them have other work, and there never seems to be time to collaborate.”

“What kind of healing facility?” Adam asks, perking up.

“Oh, I have my own spin on it, Camilo is most excited about the natural building aspects of it right now. He wants to travel and help set places like this up. Set and setting is important for healing, and he has a real knack for it,” Bea says. “If you want to do something to help, we need land and money for building supplies.”

Adam sits up, putting his glass down on the ground. “I can do that,” Adam says. “I’d say hold my beer, but it’s vodka, and I already put it down. I’m going to go make some calls and see who has land they aren’t using.”

“Resourced and supported,” Bea says. “That is what we need.”

“Resourced and supported,” Adam says. “I can work with that.” He can hear Bea smiling through the phone.

“I’m proud of you, Adam. I know things have been hard, but you keep showing up and trying to do what you can do with what you have and what you know. I’m proud to call you a friend.”

“Thanks, Bea. I am proud to call you a friend, too. I’ll call you back in a bit.”

Adam ends the call and brings his glass to the sink. He empties the last gulp down the drain and rinses it, before going up to his office to find his prep school yearbook. He’s sure one of his old friends must own a town they’ve forgotten about, or something. Maybe he can just connect some dots and help that way. He can try, anyway. He can try.

This story is the fifth in a collection of short stories.

The characters in the first and second are entirely fictional, the new characters introduced in the third and fourth are quite real. In this story, the fictional character Adam tries to help real life friends Camilo, Bea (@philosopherbonnie), and Nicholas resource and support their collective dreams.

Real life “Adams” and other benefactors are welcome to click on our names and reach out to us directly, we are glad to receive! Tips are warmly welcome, as well. Thank you for reading! Reading, and sharing makes a difference, too!!