The Phantomic Coffee

“You’ve got to be kidding me!!!” Mag groaned because she was out of coffee.

She had always told herself to get more coffee before she finished the current stash but failed miserably every single time.

Mag’s cat, Adelaide, woke up from her beauty sleep due to the havoc Mag was wreaking in the kitchen.

Adelaide entered the kitchen and gave Mag a death stare as if to say “How dare you disturb my slumber, you old hag?!”

“Oh, I’m sorry Adelaide, I didn’t mean to wake you. I’m all out of coffee and I’d die without it!”

Adelaide’s glare never faltered. She then jumped on the kitchen counter and curled up.

“Come on, Adelaide, off the counter, please. You have your cozy little be–”, Mag was interrupted midsentence as the doorbell rang.

“God, please give my caffeine-less self the patience to deal with whoever is at my door”, muttered Mag under her breath as she slowly walked to her front door.

She opened the door and much to her annoyance, there was no one. “Those friggin’ pests, I’ll get them one day!” shouted Mag.

As she was about to close her door, she noticed a small black packet on her doorstep.

“Strange”, she thought. She didn’t order anything online.

Thinking it must be a mistake, she picked up the packet. Much to her delight, it was coffee! Someone left her a packet of instant coffee on her doorstep!

She quickly brought it into her kitchen while her mind raced with so many thoughts.

Could someone have known that she was out of coffee?

But who would want to give her a whole packet of it?

And why run away after ringing the doorbell?

She studied the packet. It had a picture of a coffee-filled cup on it with the words ‘Instant Coffee’ above it. There was no brand. She turned the packet around and it was empty.

It didn’t have any of the mandatory information a food product is supposed to have such as the ingredients, nutritional information, manufacturing date, expiry date and country of origin.

Throwing caution to the wind, she opened the packet. She was immediately hit by a strong wave of aroma from the coffee. It smelled so good! She has never smelled coffee this wonderful.

Impatient to try this coffee and desperate for her morning caffeine fix, Mag added two spoons of coffee into her mug. She then added two more after contemplating for a second.

She poured in some hot water and was about to grab the creamer when she remembered that she’s not had breakfast yet.

Mag is weird in many ways and the way she takes her coffee is one of them. She has black coffee before breakfast and has it with creamer after breakfast.

She gave it a few stirs and inhaled the aroma before bringing the mug to her lips. She took a small sip. The taste was incredible, nothing close to the coffee that she was used to.

She took a bigger sip. The coffee felt so velvety and smooth. Apart from the taste, she could feel what the coffee was doing to her body. She could feel the emotions brimming and begging to escape.

She gave in and a smile appeared on her face. Slowly, it turned into a grin. She was happy. Happier than she had ever felt in her life.

She then took a big gulp of the coffee. Her mug was now half empty. She was now laughing and dancing around in her kitchen. Adelaide was awake and eyeing her every movement.

Finishing her last drop of coffee, Mag approached Adelaide and whispered into her ears, “I can hear my blood flowing through my body! I’m a walking, talking blood river!”

She quickly brought her hands to touch her head and said, “I can feel my hair pushing through my scalp! I’m sprouting, my head is sprouting! I’m a plant too!”

She was now giggling non-stop, “Oh Adelaide, I feel alive, I feel happy”

“Adelaide, I can’t see you all that well suddenly”, said Mag as she rubbed her eyes. She then dug both her eyes out using her fingers.

“I don’t need eyes that can’t see, Adelaide!” said Mag triumphantly. Her eyeballs were dangling down her face by their optic nerves.

“Adelaide, look what I can do!” said Mag as she started shaking her head vigorously, causing her eyeballs to swing wildly around.

Adelaide just watched curiously, without moving a muscle. She didn’t even flinch when Mag yanked out the optic nerves from her eye sockets as if uprooting a tree.

She then popped one of the eyeballs into her mouth like it was a grape and bit into it. Slowly she chewed on it, savoured it like it was the best bubble gum ever.

“Ugh! That was nasty!” said Mag as she spat out her disfigured eyeball and immediately popped the other one into her mouth and swiftly swallowed it without chewing.

What happened next would have made Mag’s eyes pop out if she still had them.

She gradually lost her ability to breathe as her nostrils closed up and her throat constricted. She lost her vision, couldn’t call out for help and couldn’t breathe.

She collapsed to the floor. As she was about to take her last breath before her nostrils and throat closed up completely, she heard someone say something.

In her final moments, she realized her ears didn’t close up. She used her little left strength to strain to hear what they were saying.

“…but as a coffee lover, I figured you’d love to have a coffee-induced death!”

It couldn’t have been Adelaide, could it?

~~~~~

This story was inspired by Cathy Holmes! She’s an excellent storyteller and poet, so please check out her work here!

__________________________________________
Thank you so much for reading this! 🥰 If you liked my writing, please leave a comment, click the heart and subscribe for free!

You might enjoy this as well: