Phantom Lover

I was the apple of his eye.

Upon rising in the morning, I felt that he gazed at me with infinite tenderness; I saw the love shining from his eyes. The sweet-smelling oils I used on my skin made his nostrils flare.

He loved me.

He loved me after Macy (his other self, I called her).

Macy yelled to Miles to hurry up. Hunger pangs were jabbing her belly, and she knew dinner would only be served once everyone was gathered around the table. Miles was her twin brother, precisely one minute older. Dark curls of chestnut hair draped both their heads. Bright pistachio green eyes with vertical pupils intrigued people upon meeting Macy. Cinnamon brown eyes with long lashes were Miles's distinguishing factor. Macy's girlfriends all blushed and looked away when he gazed at them. Only Macy could tolerate his quiet, wide-eyed looks for an extended period. Usually unimpressed, Macy all too frequently knew what he was really thinking! He was withdrawn, and she was outgoing.

Miles insisted on having the upper room when the family moved to the old two-story house in the country. He lovingly swept out the cobwebs and dust and carefully placed furniture in his hideout. He turned it into an inviting room with a four-poster bed and a multi-colored braided rug. Hardwood floors polished to a fine grain never had dust balls. A built-in window seat made of cedar served as a storage area for his precious woolen sweaters. Miles prided himself on a look straight from men's fashion magazines.

He had refused Macy's offer to sew curtains for the windows. The sunlight and moonlight would have free entry to his private world at the top of the house. The gigantic bedroom covered half the total space of the lower rooms. No one could see in from the yard or street, and he loved to spend a lot of time in contemplation, peering downward. Macy thought her brother was wonderfully eccentric and loved to sit on his bed, feet dangling inches from the floor. Today, she raced up the stairs to his room, Miles close behind her. They called out to their mother, saying they were home. Laughing, she told them to hurry to dinner, which would be on the table in 10 minutes.

Macy plopped on Miles's bed and pulled a ripe peach from her carry bag. Her white teeth bit into the fuzzy fruit and noisily slurped juice from the pulp. She held it out to him for a bite. "Want a bite? I have to snack; I'm so hungry!"

"Damn it, Macy, you've got that gooey juice all down the front of you! Watch that you don't dribble on my quilt! Get off the bed!"

Macy eyed him thoughtfully as she stood up. He reached out and caught a dribble of peach juice on his index finger, then absent-mindedly licked it off.

"I'm taking the train to White Rock this weekend. Wanna come?"

Macy silently looked out his window to see the family fruit orchards. White-capped mountains formed a U-shaped barrier, beyond which were the larger cities.

"Well?"

"Huh? No, I don't wanna go this weekend. Thanks anyway," she replied.

**

I am lonely and shut off in a far corner. "Miles, Miles," I call, but he doesn't hear... he is too far away. It's hard being so isolated, but I manage. Miles loves me. I am his fascination, he tells me. He is my life.

**

Miles was pleased to see Becca there to meet him when he exited the train in White Rock. He immediately caught sight of her. Five feet ten inches tall, she was taller than many in the crowd, and her coppery red hair shone in the midday sun. Her eyes of bronze, with long lashes, were a perfect match to taller miles. She, too, had the wide-eyed, disarming look that Miles was known for. It seemed they had known each other forever since they sometimes finished each other's sentences.

With no wind stirring, the hot afternoon sun rays intensified their need for something cold, and they went into a small soda shop. Becky got her usual one-scoop hot fudge sundae and Miles his regular (disgusting per Becca), banana split extra. Grinning, he whistled his favorite tune, raking the spoon across the top of the ice cream treat. She reached out and pushed a curl of hair from his forehead. "Did you miss me?" she teased.

**

An intrusion! I paced now like a caged animal. My feet left no imprints, no tracks. Anxiety rushed through me. My hands were cold, my brow damp with droplets of perspiration. Long ringlets clung to my throat and temples. My head throbbed.

**

"Oh yes, I missed you, my sweet." Miles ran his tongue over Becca's lips. She tasted like chocolate, and he shivered from her ice-cold lips. He seemed to be absolutely engrossed by her. Sometimes, it made Becca feel like an insect under a microscope with him peering through the lens at her. Becca beamed her loving smile back. Everyone who knew them thought they were perfect together, and the logical assumption was that they would marry.

She was his dream come true, and she kept his interest in her peaked while teasing him with promises of future physical delights. She was the center of his universe.

Stifling hot now, the day lay upon them like layers of heavy woolen clothing. They moved slowly and became overheated in the sauna-like air. The engagement ring tightened on her finger, squeezing ever more tightly. Becca could find no relief; her fingers continued swelling from the heat; she panted and felt as if a gauze kerchief covered her nose and mouth. She sensed a tension in the atmosphere.

"It must be going to storm, Miles. The air feels electric."

His cinnamon eyes burned through her. Then, smiling, he took her left hand in both of his.

"Your ring is too small. Are you gaining weight?" He grinned.

"No, it's just... oh, you!" realizing he was teasing. "The heat... I'm so damned hot!

The air-conditioned vehicle refreshed them as they headed to Becca's home. Her parents adored Miles and highly encouraged their relationship but insisted their future son-in-law stay in a separate bedroom from their daughter.

**

My gown clung to me, choked me; I was stifled and ripped at it. "Miles... oh, Miles, it is as if I am a candle, the flame burning, melting, the wax burning until only a flat piece of hard stuff remains. Why have you gone so long? Death is approaching me. I can see the empty void beckoning to me. Come back."

**

Macy was lying on Miles's bed, gazing upward through the open skylight. Cassiopeia perched majestically overhead, twinkling through the skylight. The room's serene, comfortable feeling was absent, and she felt stifled, encased in hot, still air. She swallowed hard and sat up. "What was that?"

A low moan pricked her senses. "Must have been the old Douglas fir next to the house." Eerie quiet descended. Despite the stifling heat, a shiver ran down her back as she headed for the doorway. She was gripped by an uneasy feeling. Stepping out of the room, she glanced back over her shoulder, clearly puzzled. She frowned and closed the door.

**

Miles awakened with a smile. I know because I was there, my head resting on his shoulder. The moon was still out, the night's silence spreading the superb peace that comes right before dawn. Becca's room was at the far end of the hall, and she was unaware of my presence. I had spent the night snuggled in Miles's arms, pervading his dreams. I had a restful night. My breathing was in rhythm with his, our thoughts and hands intertwined.

Then Miles arose, not speaking. I watched as he slipped on his blue jeans and headed for Becca's room. I followed him. My heart raced, and my stomach churned.

"Miles, stop!" I commanded, but the ultimatum had no effect. I watched, appalled, as Becca held out her arms, unaware of me. I clutched at his shoulder, but my hand caught the air. I moved to Becca's side and reached to shove her away from Miles but could not touch her.

"Miles loves me," I shouted at Becca.

She didn't hear my silent screaming rebuke.

"Are you all right?" Myles grabbed Becca as she stumbled backward.

"I... yes, I'm OK. I just lost my footing."

"HA! So, she can sense my presence!" I need to be stronger. Soon... After a few more nights with Miles, Becca will be gone! Gone! And that ring on her long, slim fingers.

I squeezed my eyes shut tighter and tighter. All I saw in my mind was that ring, now cutting into her finger.

She felt me! I've gotta get stronger!

I followed, invisible, as Becca drew him into her room. I gasped silently, trying to breathe as Miles kissed her, but my mouth hardened and froze into a silent grimace. My tongue was like cotton, and my throat constricted. My legs wouldn't hold me! I only saw blackness.

**

Hours later, Becca smiled up at Miles. "So, is your fantasy now a reality? Do you now see how a live, flesh-and-blood woman who is warm, and caresses you back, is better than dreams?" Miles held her and murmured declarations of love.

**

A bit after dawn, Macy climbed the steps to Miles's room. A strange dream had awakened her, but now she couldn't remember it. The wind whistled around the house, roaring through the trees. Troubled by the vague dream, her brother's hideaway room drew her. She peeked in and found everything just as it had been the previous night. She looked at the landscape and mountains and noticed fresh snow on the higher elevations.

"Probably stormed in White Rock too; the snow's further down the mountain slopes," she thought. Birds were just beginning to chirp; their rooster crowed good morning, and a milk cow was mooing. Realizing she had left the skylight open, she climbed to a step stool and reached for the latch. Shutting out the cold morning air, the skylight shut with an eerie whoosh, like a woman's sigh. Macy straightened the quilt and left the room, locking the door behind her.

**

I felt like I was going extinct, my strength waning. What hope did I have now that their love is consummated? The fascination I brought him is no more. I am a shadow, replaced by Becca in all her glorious womanhood. How will Miles and I meet again? Well, he sleeps. He dreams. I can draw near then and dominate. I will lay with him and pace my breathing with his. His reverie will be ruled by phantom ardor, and I can finally regain my strength and claim him.

Beware, Becca. I rule his dreamscapes.

**

Macy froze on the landing. An eerie sound behind her emitted from the room. Chuckles rose to a crescendo of manic laughter and vibrated through each cell of her body. Her mind caught a glimpse of Becca smothered in Miles's arms. Shaking her head to clear her thoughts, she fumbled with the key to her brother's room. Flinging open the door, she crossed the threshold and found the skylight open again. Her peripheral vision caught some movement, and she spun, eyes focusing on the bed. A beautiful female apparition leered at her from the center of the quilt. It raised one hand in salute, and Macy saw the ring Myles had given to Becca. As the apparition faded, Macy leaped toward it, shouting NO! Her hand sliced the air, then fell to rest on a newly rumpled quilt.

**

Becca died in her sleep, and Miles was heartbroken. The coroner's report showed she died of asphyxiation due to heat stroke. Her asthmatic lungs had given out on her.

Macy never told any one of the vision she had in Miles’ bedroom.

After the death, Macy kept watch outside her twin's room. Her skin crawled, and her neck hairs rose as she heard two voices emanating from the bedroom - one was her brother, the other was a woman. Macy alone knew of the ghostly figure spending time with her brother. The twins’ secret. His mental breakdown after Becca's death was common knowledge in town. His only visitors behind the locked door were his sister, parents, and psychiatrist.

Macy never spoke of the other visitor, not even to Miles.

**

Phantom

Miles and I sit on the window seat, hands intertwined, enjoying the view of the orchards below us.

I am the apple of his eye.

His other self, Macy, sits outside. I know she is listening, but she never interferes. She understands he is happiest with me.