This Thunderous Nightmare of Samsara

You'll seldom browse Facebook when your work's unfinished. You'll focus on the job you won't try to understand, except for quandaries you won't solve, even with help.

ABOLISH FOREIGN LOBBYING. End lobbying for foreign nations, labeling it espionage. Negotiate with foreign entities solely through official diplomatic channels.

At the dawn of WWIII, expect water cooler talk of protesters, Russians, and little green men. Your new job will teach you more about Americans, their sentiments, fears, occasionally noting the most interesting.

MAKE WAR PROFITEERING A CRIMINAL OFFENSE. Tightly regulate defense, penalize war profiteering. Enact conscription for all able-bodied males.

ABOLISH THE TWO-PARTY POLITICAL SYSTEM. End the corrupt two-party system, advocate for inclusive representation.

Facebook will be the best vehicle for our masterminds since it really was invented by a mastermind, back when its creator was traveling through the heuristic limbo of trial and error, dropping out of school, on his journey to richness.

"Are you aware your co-workers have been doing some of your duties?"

STRATEGIC DISSOLUTION OF MONOPOLIES. Advocate for dissolving monopolies, nationalizing and dismantling banks, media, and corporations for public accountability.

"Can you do this job? I need to know."

ELECTIONS WILL BE PUBLICLY FINANCED. Insist on publicly financed elections, free from private interests.

Your response: "Hopefully; I think I can," prompts a loud harrumph from your supervisor.

ENVIRONMENTAL SAFEGUARDING. State must protect our environment, balancing industry with preserving beauty, wildlife, and banning inhumane animal treatment.

Supervisor remarks, "If anyone deserves COVID, it's those protesters!"

COMMITMENT TO FUNDAMENTAL HUMAN RIGHTS. Champion free speech, religion, association; oppose state or private censorship. Protect workers from political retaliation.

Supervisor adds, "Dumbass protesters are antisemitic white trash!"

REPATRIATE MANUFACTURING. Advocate for bringing capital, manufacturing back to heartland, with public works projects.

"I don't care if I'm double-vaccinated for COVID! Why did my soon-to-be ex-wife have to vaccinate our young son for her gratuitous trip with her new boyfriend?"

CEASE FOREIGN WARS. Stand against America's military engagements abroad, prioritize diplomacy guided by 'America First.'

"It's okay. This is your karma. Live it."

THE ABOLITION OF THE FBI. In our call for systemic reform, we will vehemently advocate for the abolition of the FBI. We will assert that the FBI operates as nothing short of a political secret police force serving the interests of the elite. It will be imperative that this institution be dismantled and replaced with a genuine federal law enforcement agency committed to upholding justice and serving the public interest.

Manager's computer announces, "Allen Sharon self-immolated for Gaza-Palestine, but does violence solve problems? What kind of example are we setting for our brothers and sisters? That the way to solve problems in the world is through suicide and death?"

LABEL ISRAEL AS A ROGUE STATE. Assert Israel is a rogue state, respecting Palestinian national rights.

Voice exclaims, "We scrape away at humanity with constant violence; how can we make samsara better?"

ENSURE RIGHTS FOR WORKERS. Rectify labor-management power imbalance with a national labor organization.

Oleg Ceksin aims an "incel" gun and shoots.