Freedom is a dizzying gift to a child, a dare to get a little lost, wander from the path, ski off-piste. A little liberty tests a child’s mettle, and the wisdom of their elders.
The rule was stay together. The rule was be back before dark. The rules made sense, with the wisdom they had learnt, and they stuck to them. There was no rule about skiing off-piste. They had never been told to stick to the path. Wolves were for storybooks and faraway. Lost was the route to adventure.
Together, Lilah and Nathan slipped away from the smoothly groomed slope, the pendulant spruce branches closing behind them, the shrieks of passing skiers soaking into the snow clad boughs. The children were alone in the tree studded wild.
Towering evergreens appeared to shrink to friendly Christmas trees as they cut deepening lines into pristine white. Exhilarated and alert, Lilah was still unprepared for the sudden plunge. Chest deep and panicked, her skis swung and flailed, finding no purchase in the void beneath her, as their weight pulled against the tender crust she clung to.
A distant story returned to Nathan then, of quicksand and peril, and he dropped spread eagled across the snow, extending a pole to meet her grasping hands, edging them both back in inching drags to solid ground, where they panted in near miss horror.
Later, they told their parents. “Well done for staying together”, they said, distracted, uncomprehending. Without a word, they swore their oath. Always.
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More stories from Hannah Moore and writers in Fiction and other communities.
- Runner-Up in Snow Micro Challenge
Why, Why, WhyRunner-Up in Snow Micro Challenge
It rained all day today, and I with it. Silently misting, pooling in my eyes, battering the earth, streaming down my cheeks, dripping from the gutters, rain fell all day, as if we would fall for evermore. What can I make from rain though? Only rivers and seas too strong for me to stand against. Now evening comes, let me close my swollen eyes and breathe frost across the sodden tableau. Let me dress this rain as snow.
By Hannah Moore4 months ago in Fiction
Time for #2
This is the second article on my review of the ideas in The Four Agreements. Here's the first article: I knew that I'd move forward with this series, but I put it off as Agreement #2 is a big stumbling block for me. I'd like to say I decided to get out of my own way and thus wrote this, but that isn't the truth. (Since Agreement #1 is to Be Impeccable with Your Word I surely need to own up to that)
By Judey Kalchik 3 days ago in BookClub
Comments (22)
Another story with wonderful imagery of the winter snow, and the tension tightens as it goes on until the fall. Thank goodness for happy endings, “A little liberty tests a child’s mettle, and the wisdom of their elders.” is my favourite line, and is very much true. Great read😊
Your ability to vividly set the stage, create palpable excitement and concern, and then resolve it all with thoughtful reflection is incredible. What a gripping and beautiful micro that wastes no time and makes one feel grounded in the story at the same time.
Oh God. I felt that plunge!
Brilliant. Didn't expect that!
Omgggg my heart was beating so fast! So glad they're okay! Loved your story!
"Together at last, together forever. We're tying a knot, that never can sever...." At least when skiing. The rest of the time we can annoy each other as much as we want.
This is such a good micro! -the challenge requested a balance vivid imagery with dynamic storytelling ✅ So poetic in describing the setting and cinematic in the action.
I know that oath - which reminds me of another story... Really enjoyed this Hannah!
Magnificent story!!! Loved it!!!♥️♥️💕
Great story, Hannah.
Wow, I’m glad the children survived this adventure!
This was one of the best of these I’ve read
This is brilliant Hannah. I can totally imagine this happening and then making a pact with your sibling never to confess to your parents! Excellent pacing and writing in so few words.
That was great. Makes me think of times when I and my brothers got ourselves into tricky situations and how, once safe, all we cared about was making sure Mom didn't find out.
This is a wonderful story, Hannah. So evocative of those moments in childhood when something unexpected happens and no adults are around to help or experience the terror of it with you. Although every line in your story is evocative, I especially loved 'A distant story returned to Nathan then, of quicksand and peril, and he dropped spread eagled across the snow, extending a pole to meet her grasping hands, edging them both back in inching drags to solid ground, where they panted in near miss horror.' And I learned a new word!
❤️ Incredible work Hannah! ❤️
Beautiful read… typical of how often parents are blithely oblivious of what went on!
I think if we think too much about our childhood escapades, we'd never let kids out of our sight... I guess some never do!
Great tale of adventuring kids. I love the way that you get that sense of danger and the dismissiveness of all parents when they know that nothing serious happened. If only they knew! Fab read.
Compelling! I believe she had fallen through a frozen pond without you saying so and that's a succinct delivery for micro-fiction. I don't want to know what my young one got into when I was not around. Really clever, Hannah!
Loved this. I was very very nervous for the kids, though. Glad they got through it.
Intense! Great work. Parents shouldn’t be so distracted 🙁