Not Alone

Felix slowly entered the building he no longer recognized as the launch station. As he walked by the front desk secretary who waved politely to him, he brushed his fingers along the desks and tables as if for the first time. What was once a sanctuary for his curiosity now brought despair and pain to his heart. He reached into his pocket pulled out a silver pin the size of a nickel and placed it on the front display table where the transparent statue of a man stood holding its hand toward the stars. Computer screens flickered joyfully as they transitioned between different live feeds of space and Felix almost felt as if the stars cried with him. A tickle hit the back of his neck sending a shiver down his spine as he robotically turned around. He was at a standstill, frozen in disbelief at the moment, unable to understand who or what was standing before him. He watched him die; he had died in his arms about a month ago and yet here he stood, staring into his storm-colored eyes. Felix stumbled back tripping over his feet without breaking his gaze.

“What? Uh, how? You can’t be here, you should be dead. You have to be dead! I was there. I watched it!” Felix yelled. Kuglarz stared intently with a small frown on his face. He stepped forward as Felix jumped backward like a ghost had just run at him.

“No! Stay away!”

“It’s me.”

“No!”

“Please, let me explain,” he said calmly. Felix had tears in his eyes turned his head with owl-like precision and ran as far away from the moment as possible. Slamming into his car door he fumbled the car handle open and crashed inside the seat. His breath painted the windows as he looked for his ghost of a past and brought the car alive burning rubber on his escape.

“That’s just impossible. Nope, no way. ThatsjustnotsomethinglikewhatImeanthatiswildandtoowildandthismovie,” he continued to mumble as he reached his driveway. His death grip almost tore off the handle as he pushed into his house. His feet echoed the walls as he entered his bathroom splashing water on his face. He stared into the mirror for as long as it took to wake up. Clenching the sides of the sink as he steeled himself. Releasing a small grunt he slapped himself across the face waiting for the dream to end. His cheek throbbed reminding him of this horrific nightmare that was more real than he wanted it to be. He ran to the kitchen scouring the drawers for his escape. He reached so fast that the blade cut his hand, though he didn’t notice at first. He placed the knife against his hand and yanked. He locked his eyes so intently on the scene that he never let out a cry to the cut. It was the reality crashing around him that brought him to tears.

A faint sound from the front of his house danced into his ears confusing him. Standing in front of the door unwilling to look outside, afraid of what he might see, he reached for the handle. Twisting the handle nothing happened except a huge amount of stinging and deep pain. Felix looked at his hand in shock, took off his shirt, and wrapped it around his hand tightly. The second attempt at the door handle was a success and standing before him was Kuglarz. Towering over Felix as usual he beckoned himself to enter. Felix stutteringly agreed and joined Kuglarz on the couch.

Minutes of an hour was felt before the first words were spoken. Felix sat like a Greek statue of tragedy as Kuglarz explained his predicament.

“Felix my friend. I know this is a shock for you –”

“A shock is not quite the word I’d use.”

“I understand, but this is far beyond a normal series of events.”

“I’d say, you were supposed to be dead. You made me promise that I’d come back to th-the laun-launch place, even though that made no sense.”

“Yes, but now you can see why I needed you to return.”

“It explains nothing. Now all I can see is you dying again.”

“Explain to me what you remember and I will clear up what is needed, Felix.”

Felix’s head tilted to the side as he took a deep breath. Of course, he remembered the events leading up to the so-called death of his so-called friend. They had been friends for years; they met at a business convention for a moon orbital satellite station. Felix was a loner and never quite had anyone close to call a friend or lover. He wasn’t particularly interested in making a friend though he often wondered what it would be like to meet someone who was interested in space as much as he was. Ever since he was a little boy he wanted to go to space. As he grew older he realized he didn’t have the aptitude to go to space as it was too hard for his body but he grew a sharp mind for physics learning how to send rockets and satellites to space. Collecting data and analyzing was his past time activity. Kuglarz was a foreigner from overseas from Poland looking to escape from his family who was trying to control him. Felix found that odd as he thought Kuglarz was quite old already and should not have those types of ties to their family but who was he to say anything when he alienated himself from his own family for his own personal reasons. Their bond grew fast, platonically, and they found themselves spending much time together going over different methods of sending satellites and how wonderful it must be to live on a space station for a few weeks. Felix always got the hint that Kuglarz had seen more of the earth than he let on.

A summer night was hot and the windows were open allowing the cool city air to waltz through the living room. Kuglarz was late which was very odd, he wasn’t known to be behind schedule. This man was the same man who wrote everything down in a planner synced it with his smart watch that had two alerts to remind him of his tasks or meetings. Felix was already on edge when he finally showed up. After spilling the first glass of wine he successfully gave Kuglarz his share. Toasting to the evening they began to discuss the newest project of discovery. MARSIE (Mars Autonomous Robotic Science Investigator and Explorer) had found a piece of technology that was encrypted with a message that sounded scrambled or as Felix would dare say, alien. Kuglarz embraced the idea and the two of them began to talk about the wonders of meeting a different species.

The night went longer than usual and Kuglarz seemed to not let the night end. At the exit Kuglarz spoke without turning around, “Felix, you have always been my friend. I cherish these moments that we have shared. You know of my past and know that I haven’t been as forthcoming with that information. I am sorry but my situation is a bit more dire than I made it out to be. If anything should happen to me would you leave the pin I gave you at the launch center?”

Felix had a smile stuck on his face, talking through his teeth, ”Ha, good one Kuglarz.”

“Promise me, for a friend?” Kuglarz said as he turned around to face Felix. Felix had the feeling that this was the first time that Kuglarz truly looked at him. A vibration down his neck hit the core of his stomach and a wash of cold covered his body. “Sur-Sure, Kuglarz. I’ll do it.” Kuglarz smiled a sad smile and bowed his head.

Felix lay in bed all night awake until the sun kissed his face. Work was a blur and a pit in his stomach grew. Kuglarz smiled at him and they shared lunch as usual but this darkness was behind him. What was this feeling Felix felt? Swallowing him like a beast of the abysmal sea. A serious breakthrough in the MARSIE project brought a deafening roar. Swimming through the sea of congratulations Felix fought his way to Kuglarz who was crying. They never spoke a word but Felix knew what Kuglarz said with his eyes. Remember the promise. Felix had no idea he even nodded his head.

The night crashed as Felix arrived at Kuglarz’s home. Why today of all days? Felix was just like Kuglarz, alone. So when he called about the incident It had to be just bad luck. Kuglarz lived in a nice apartment in the city and to hear about burglars raiding his home was beyond belief. Kuglarz was lying in a pool of blood and Felix rushed to his side looking for the wound. Kuglarz reached for him and told him that three men had come to rob him. In his efforts to stop the robbery, he was shot in the chest. The men took what they could and vanished. Felix ripped off his shirt and placed it on the wound. Kuglarz laughed weakly and coughed blood. Felix’s heart fell to the floor rolling away from the moment that he too wished he could escape. The police arrived a few moments later to a dead friend and a silent broken man. Felix had returned his thoughts to the man in front of him to a state of confusion.

“Ah, so you do remember the night very well,” said Kuglarz. Felix stared so hard at Kuglarz that he thought his eyes would shoot lasers.

“It’s as if you read my mind?”

“Not quite, It’s just easy to see your mind at work, my friend,” Kuglarz said with a small smile.

“I’m not sure if you can call me friend. You lied to me Kuglarz!”

“I had no choice,” Kuglarz said slowly.

“No choice? You chose to lie.”

“Do you find it odd that after our company made such a huge discovery and something happened to me?”

“It’s bad luck. It’s been happening to me my whole life. Why do you think you are my only friend?”

“But luck with such a coincidence such as these?” Kuglarz said as silence filled the room. Felix stared into the soul of Kuglarz as he stood up grasping at his arms and to his head sporadically. Storming away the echoes echoed his pain and anger to the walls hoping that each step would annoy his only friend. Kuglarz waited patiently bearing the weight of his actions upon his shoulders as he slumped over into his hands. After a few whistley breathes he rose up to find Felix no longer shirtless leaning forward with his elbows resting on his knees.

“So explain,” he said spitting venom into the words.

Kuglarz frowned, drooped his head, and with a long breath began to speak, “I am not what you think I am. Or who for that matter. Why this pin you ask? Why did I specifically ask you to bring this pin? It is the only way that I might leave this world.” His head rose to meet the angered gaze of Felix. Wiping his mouth he continued.

“This pin is coated with my DNA and when activated through my touch will call a vessel to me. This vessel will transport me to other worlds beyond the stars. You know about my past but not the whole truth. If you will allow me to project my thoughts to yours it would not only be faster than explaining it will give undoubted proof to my being.”

Felix reared away, as his eyes grew wider.

“Wait, are you trying to say what I think you are?”

“And what would that be my friend?”

“You mean it don’t you? You, you’re an alien?!” Felix shouted as he stood up towering over his friend. Kuglarz had never seen this side before and understandably so. He remained silent and still. Felix pointed his finger harshly at Kuglarz’s face almost screaming, “Do you really believe that I would believe something so outlandish!”

“Felix, think hard about all of our conversations. About what our company discovered on Mars.”

“That’s just scrambled transmission of old data, who knows what they came from.”

“We spent the whole night talking about how wonderful it would be to meet aliens did we not?”

“Yes, but like that was just fantasy talk. I didn’t think it could be real.”

“Why not? Is the galaxy not vast?”

“This is not what our conversation is about now is it? You lied and you expect me to believe after everything that happened that you’re an alien?”

“How do you say? What do you have to lose?” Kuglarz said with a grin. Felix froze, Kuglarz always had this charm about him. Always seemed to get Felix to feel comfortable talking and expressing many concerns. Felix cracked a smile.

“It’s what you got to lose. Or have? I’m not sure right now honestly,” he said with his hand outstretched. Kuglarz looked down raising his head along with his smile. He pressed his finger hard against his forehead of Felix. Felix saw flashes with a wave of pictures and footage-like memories seeped into his brain. He saw exactly what Kuglarz wanted him to see, his alien appearance which movie directors would approve of getting those images right. Tall with giant black eyes with an iris just as big and somehow more black than the eyes themselves. Skin looked almost leather, grey, and taller than any human he had ever seen. He saw the flashes of angry alien species attack his friend. He escaped with injuries and found the planet Earth a safe haven. Not realizing the dangers he asked the humans for help and became surrounded by military officials taking him into custody. Locked up in prison being studied he witnessed the deal made between Kuglarz and the government. The human race was not ready for such a discovery and Kuglarz was very good at proving just how bad it would be if his people came to Earth in search of him finding him dead and retaliating. Felix knew this was false and laughed. A final scene emerged of several aliens talking to Kuglarz in their native tongue and yet he somehow knew what they were saying. They told Kuglarz that if he didn’t give them the power core to their world he would be killed. Kuglarz returned the core but was betrayed and during his escape was told that if they ever found him they would be sure to kill him in front of his family.

Kuglarz pulled back slowly from Felix and crossed his arms. Felix’s eyes darted across the room with a glazed stare. Rain began to pour outside the house and sang their song across the ceiling. Kuglarz hummed in harmony. Felix blinked rapidly and asked, “Do I really want to know what a world core is?”

“It’s the spirit of any planet, something my people have been researching for a long time. I am the first one to prove its existence,” he said.

“I can’t believe it, I’m sorry Larz.”

“Ah, so we are still friends,” he said with tears swelling.

“Of course my friend. Though what now?”

Kuglarz had the expression wiped away so fast that Felix jumped in shock. This was the first time that Kuglarz wanted to break eye contact and not reconnect. Felix sat beside him and placed his hand against his shoulder. Kuglarz spoke into his hands, “It’s unfortunately goodbye.” Felix gripped harder than he meant hurting Kuglarz hearing him wince. Before he could say anything, “It’s okay Felix, I understand. I too have grown quite fond of our friendship.” Felix could only nod. Kuglarz checked the bronze house-shaped clock against the wall and frowned. He stood up and walked to the door. Felix reached out to him once again finding himself frozen in the moment. Kuglarz approached the door and turned around for a final goodbye.

“May I look upon you with my own eyes?” he asked.

“Huh? Yes” said Felix as he nodded quickly.

Kuglarz touched something against his chest and a burst of light sliced the air as the shapes of squares, triangles, and hexagons painted his body. The color of lighting blue and purple filled the room. Once the swirling light faded there stood the real Kuglarz. Their moment would solidify their friendship forever in Felix’s heart as they waved a final goodbye. Kuglarz once again was bathed in light only this time it was scarlet red and he began to melt upwards toward the sky before Felix could ask if they would see each other again or be in contact he was already gone. Felix walked to the door and pressed his hand against it.

It had been two years since they said goodbye. Felix was still working at the same company and his life had turned anew. His confidence in his friendship with Kuglarz birthed a new man. He found himself wanting more from life feeling it was too short to pass by. His new friends came to his cubical to talk about the new discovery on Mars. MARSIE had found a silver pin of ancient origin and metals never seen on Earth. They spent the rest of the workday talking about what if they met aliens or what they would look like. The day was over in a flash and Felix found himself at the launch station sliding his fingers across the desks and staring into the screens. The stars stared back at him. A glimmer caught his eye and his curiosity got the better of him. He pushed aside the faux flowers on the desk to find the silver pin he knew belonged to an old friend. It felt warm almost as if he recognized him like an embrace long overdue. An image crossed into his mind of his very tall friend waving with a purplish planet in the background. He felt the happiness of this image and knew exactly what Kuglarz was telling him. Though they are light years away, nothing can separate their friendship, and not to worry. His head dropped and he could no longer hold back his laughter. He turned to face the exit of the station and left with a grin across his face, back into his own world, a life he would never have if it wasn’t for his best friend in the whole world, no, the universe. As he stepped into the night he waved at the stars hoping that his friend could see it or at the very least, feel it. His leg vibrated pulling out his phone from his pocket.

“Yeah? Okay, on my way,” he said and took a final look at the stars.