Back On The Bull

"The house was perfect!" Kendra thought to herself as she walked up to the front door. She carefully held the damn blue vase for her buyer that had to be shown in every room. Meticulous beautiful garden out front. Three car garage. Wrap around farmers porch, an acre of land, gorgeous views; How was this place still on the market? Listed again for the third time in two years. She just pushed back negative possible reasons in her head. She wanted this deal to go through. She needed this deal to go through.

She earned her real estate license one year prior before the pandemic hit. The housing market soon boomed while the world was in despair over the virus and business shutdowns. People who were being forced to stay home realized they wanted a home and properties in the state were quickly being bought up. The boom was for those selling their home. Not so much for buyers who were watching listings disappear before a showing or open house. There was no negotiating now as sellers were getting full asking price and beyond. That’s what was so different about today.

She was working with an interested couple who had been looking to buy for more than six months. The couple, the Markells, were very picky and difficult to say the least. The demands of what they wanted kept increasing on their daily calls and of course they were not willing to pay more. They were moving to the east from a west coast state and not able to tour in-person. Instead, Kendra had to bring around this heavy vase and show them how it looked it every room of the house. Let them feel “the vibe” the vase gave them from a video call at the house. Twenty-eight houses later here she was ringing the doorbell for another beautiful home about to be rejected if it did not “bring peace” for Mrs Markell or Mr Markell found the rooms not modern enough. Somehow the vase helped them identify what was wrong. Kendra rang the doorbell and closed her eyes hoping they could set a closing today if it went well.

Jackie moved quickly towards the door. She lit a candle and opened up the cookies she brought from a local bakery. She also put on some music to drown out the sound coming from next door. “Please” she whispered to herself I need this sale to happen. I cannot come here again. The noise was still loud and some curse words soon followed. She knew what it was but she did not want to look at that visual again. The agent coming today said she had very interested buyers and the house appeared to have everything they wanted. She mentioned something about “a vase” and Jackie told her to bring it along. She took a deep breath as she opened the door.

“Hi you must be Kendra, I'm Jackie Porter. Thanks for coming!”

“Oh, it is lovely, and the curb appeal is breathtaking!”

“Yes, the seller made sure to keep up all parts of the property. There is also a garden out back.”

“Yes, I’d love to see. The buyers will be on video in a few minutes.

“Well, let me take you around,” Jackie stated as she began showing Kendra the 4 bedroom, 3 bath home. “All appliances recently upgraded,” She continued.

Kendra took pictures with the vase in every room. She started to notice a strange sound and then a few F bombs that came through the kitchen window loud and clear.

“Is that the neighbor?” Kendra asked as she headed towards the window.

Jackie moved in front of her. “You don’t want to look through that window!”

“What! Yes, I do. My buyers will want to know.”

“No please I’m telling you don’t want to look.” Jackie hung her head in hand as Kendra moved past her to find the source of the noise.

When she reached the window, she peered through window to the yard next door which was right in view. Her eyes grew big as she turned around gasping for air. She caught the blue vase and placed it on the granite countertop as she almost dropped it on the floor. “Is he?”

“As a Jaybird!” Jackie grabbed a cookie.

“Oh my! I can’t unsee that!’

Kendra now held her head she was never going to move these buyers. Her office wanted her to prove she had what it took to sell real estate. She needed this sale to prove she could deal with difficult customers. She needed this sale for all the hard work she had already invested. Travelling throughout the state with this damn vase trying to make a case for each house they virtually toured. Now it was going to shit because there was an old guy riding a mechanical bull in the nude.

Jackie saw her expression and explained that his name is Harry. He rides the bull every Sunday morning and twice during the week. Always in the nude. There was nothing that could be done about it as he is in his own fenced in yard and we are only able to see because of height of the house. He belonged to one of those nudist colonies where he would vacation and liked to feel comfortable at home too.

Harry purposely rides the bull anytime someone is trying buy or sell in this development which is quite often because of Harry’s bull riding. He is upset because the development was built in the first place as this used to be farmland that belonged to his friend before the friend’s son sold it. Jackie went on to say, he has tried to shoot down drones that were taking pictures for real estate companies but stopped when he found out he could get in trouble for that. He has invited several of his motorcycle friends over for a barbeque during open houses. When this house and several others in the neighborhood sold is when the bull riding started.

Jackie stared back at the window. “I cannot show this house again.”

Kendra’s phone then started to ring. She looked at the blue vase. She looked back at Jackie.

“That’s the buyers. I’m going to stall them a bit and I think I have a plan." Kendra said as she pressed accept on her cell.

"Hi, Mrs. Markell. Oh, the house is lovely. Beautiful, yes everything. Yes, I’ll send pictures of the vase.” She looked over at Jackie who had opened wine that was supposed to be if served if they were setting a closing date today. “Can I call you back in fifteen minutes? I just have to run through a few details. Yes, right back. I will I promise.” Kendra ended the call.

“Listen I need this sale and you need this sale!” Kendra marched off to see Harry with Jackie following.

Kendra walked out the back door next to the baker’s pantry, down the back stairs from the oversized deck, over the cobblestone path and up to the white 6-foot-high fence where the moaning noises were coming from. She knocked on the gate and asked him to put on pants before answering. There were a few cuss words she heard him utter but when he opened the gate he had on bottoms.

“Hi Harry, I’m Kendra” she tried to sound as professional as possible. He just gave her a cold stare.

“Listen, I know you don’t want new neighbors but the reality at this point is the house is here. It will be sold. Whether it is Jackie and I making this sale or someone else.” She started to shake but kept her cool as she could not carry that vase anywhere else.

“I have a proposal for you. We want to make this sale today. We will need one month to have the inspection and set up the closing. Thirty days and we will each give you $1000 dollars from our commission. We need thirty days without any naked bull riding or shooting or motorcycle parties and you will get $2000. I will bring you the cash the day we close. On the thirty first day do what you want we will have no say and you can decide to make friends with your new neighbors or not. Deal?”

Harry glanced at both of the women before him. His grin showed teeth that were proof he thought dentists were not worth the money. He pulled on the buckle of his pants so to cover his wide girth. "I've had a lot of fun being pissed and I've had a more than a lot of fun annoying these agents," he thought to himself, "$2000 is still money I could use maybe even get a second bull in case I have my lady friends over."

“Okay, deal. You had better be here in thirty days-small bills please!” he said with a smirk on his face.

Kendra marched back across the cobblestone path up the back steps to the oversized deck with Jackie following behind. She opened up the back door next to the baker’s pantry and headed over to the granite countertop island where she grabbed the bottle of wine and poured herself a glass. She and Jackie clinked their glasses and finished the bottle before she called buyers from hell back.

Kendra showed them the pictures of blue vase in every room. There was silence from all around except for the gasps of delight from the Markells. She and Jackie smiled and posed in different areas of the house. They displayed the blue vase at the kitchen window which just had a cool breeze passing through and birds chirping outside. The buyers were thrilled. They made an offer for the full asking price which was immediately accepted. They closed a month later. Kendra brought Harry the promised money.

The next night Kendra curled up with a big bowl of popcorn, her cat, and a glass of her favorite wine. She started watching a movie. She glanced down at her phone which she had put on vibrate. It buzzed endlessly. She glanced at the number and put the phone down and turned up the volume on the remote to her TV. The Jaybird was back on the bull.