Amir's State

It was quite a beautiful day. You glimpse at it twice, and it is an essence of reflections of everything around you. In other words, a day is worth reviewing and remembering. With all the reflections around me, the sun could only do better by grasping itself upon my body from multiple different directions. The heat immersed me with calmness. Barely any sweat derives from my body.

I sit cross-legged on the drab sand. It is soft beneath my legs and feet. My hands rest on my knees ever so lightly. I close my eyes. I let out a gentle breath, creating my own breeze for the little bit of insects that fly around me. It was so silent out that you could hear the footsteps of the small, deadly, yet untouchable to my meditation animals. With the time that I sat there, they would simply just come and go. When they did come close, my eyes went awake and cold, as my eyebrows furrowed, and I stared down the scorpion. The animal pointed, microscopically eerie, leading to vivid power. Though they'd stand there as if begging for food, they'd eventually choose a different direction, leaving my prayer rug and me alone.

"We both learn to leave the other alone when unneeded harm is in part of the sequence of their immoral success," I say in a voice representing accord as a scorpion scurries away. "For when one leaves, they do tend to come back. The better the sequence of interactions, the gentler the next sentence to come is. It is not for me to judge another life when one is busy with oneself, mainly when no harm is caused. But be on guard, my able creature. There's still danger out there. There's always that one creature who could try to rob you of life, rob you of friends, rob you of relatives. Teach them the aspect of patience. Then they will learn liability comes along the longer you think, so what's the use in causing it to exist?" The scorpion continues on its way.

I take a sip of ice-cold water in the bottle I brought today. Its coolness calms my body, evening out with the sultriness from the sun. It makes my brain think of alcohol and its unsatisfactory results that follow through when you've coursed yourself beyond repair. Drinking alcohol is simply just a distraction while drinking water is nourishment. It has been years since my last sip of alcohol, and it continues to continue on. There's too much that remains to be learned in life to waste it on a drink of alcohol. It gets you stuck going in circles instead of climbing up, the direction the mountain of life goes.

The world is alluring and astonishing, like a mystery hiding in plain sight that can't stop grabbing your attention but has no vision of the answer to its calling. It is beautiful to go through the world like that. Awakened to concern without becoming a renaissance of dread. The whole sequence leads to the question, how does one gain experience in the entire world themself if it is so big but small at the same time, to the point that it drags you in, just like the sun alluring us into these heated meditations?

I opened my bottle and took another big swig of water.

"Oh, how charming it would be to be near a river, too, right now," I state, noticing my water was getting lower within the bottle. "But how dazzling this day already is with this heat. Who's to choose one from the other, instead rather bastide options and simply settle for what is handed, because you could be stipulated either way. It's simply as if two are ascending the tree. Desire is good, but appreciation is better."

I have learned many things throughout my years of living on the earth. I've learned to listen more than to speak over time. Aside from my secret lover, Sanai, not speaking has been one of my main tactics. It has been due to listening so much that I have learned meditation. If one is to be able to listen to humans over some time, why can one not listen to what's around them and their own self in one? I had been so stuck in fraudulent ways of living before meditation and silence beheld me. Deceitful ways that made me shudder. That makes me hoax myself to biliousness. I wore myself out throughout the cycle, aged, and became sick. My heart is full of misery and hidden fear. But as one struggles, one learns that the world is constantly transitioning, as are we. Nothing is mine, as nothing is yours.

I smiled at the thought. I smiled once more while looking down at my bottle. It was entirely empty now.

"I have had to experience so much embarrassment and childlike ways of living that I've come to enjoy the chagrin of not packing enough water. I've had to experience desperation from going without water for a long time to know to be grateful for simply just now running out."

I close my eyes and lovingly admire the imaginary stream of water in my head. I was passing into a new piece within my day as I stood up, my eyes still closed. I feel around and pack my belongings, gathering all day into one bag. Stuck in meditation, I start walking.

"I, who speaks now, who goes by Amir, is I who is engulfed in the desert's parched silence."

I was nothing but another grain of sand in the wind.