Ambassatrix

I came to King Zi-Rian's court in the late spring of that year, as ambassador sent to His Majesty with rich gifts and messages from surrounding kingdoms I had previously visited. As I was presented to Himself in court, his eldest lounged at the foot of the throne.

And he took one look, and decided I was one of those "rich gifts.”

"Mine," he proclaimed.

The courtiers winced at his crass demeanor.

I shook my head, as was the custom there to show an emphatic negative, and answered in his native tongue. "I am known as Lady Death," I responded. "No man lives longer than a day or two after coupling with me. I am an excellent ambassador, but no courtesan. Let's talk of other things." So the rest of the reception was of travel and politics and intrigue.

The prince forced himself on me that night, of course. I let him, the fool. He was found hanged a few hours later, in his inner chamber, and area I could never "penetrate" as a mere ambassador.

Next, the chief vizier. Smothered.

Head of the night watch. Leaped from a high balcony.

Three of the King's Council. Neck broken, stabbed through the heart, and found drowned in the fountain, respectively.

Head cook's dogs-boy - well, that one wasn't mine. Throat slit, nonetheless.

There followed such a spate of "natural deaths" and murders and sudden retirements that I have not seen in long years spent on the road. No, I had nothing to do with them. It always happens, after the first few I choose, that old feuds bubble up and spill over when there is someone convenient to blame.

I was surprised, that I was not asked to leave hastily. Usually I only last two weeks in a bed that I don't have to assemble with my own hands. I think the king was pleased with the purge, since no blood showed on his hands for such dreadful carnage.

I slept well, alone, on silken pillows. Guarded inside and out of my chamber. Watched every sleeping and waking hour. Double shifts when I bathed. I was blameless; multiple sets of eyes proved it.

And at that last meeting, the new chief vizier sidled up to me, with a very large bag of gold, and a suggestion of which kingdom to visit next and people whom I should probably get to know better. Hint, wink, cozen.

It took them over a month to think of it. Most advisors think of it within five days.

Fools.

No one ever asks what country I represent. Or to whom I owe my allegiance. My face, a mask of emotionless eternal beauty, is my sole passport.

And my lord is always pleased with my early harvest. It saves time, especially during plague or war. Collect the nastier ones early; let the nice ones populate in times of peace. More people means more subjects for my lord.

Eventually.