My Art Teacher Was The First Person to Make Me Feel Uncomfortable About My Body

I was a teenager at a time when the media was especially cruel to women. Celebrities like Jessica Simpson and Britney Spears were shamed for their bodies if they dared to gain even a small amount of weight. These celebrities were often more slim than the average woman or teenage girl, so seeing them being body-shamed hurt some of the girls I knew.

I can still remember one of my friends crying about her body when we were in sixth grade. When we asked her what was wrong, she said she didn’t feel skinny enough, and it made her feel bad to see someone thinner than her. I never knew what made her feel that way, but I’m sure it was a mixture of the way the media portrayed women and how we witnessed adults discussing their bodies.

I’d like to say that I never felt self-conscious about my own body, but there were times when I didn’t feel as confident as I should have. I was always a bit on the small side, but no one ever commented on my body. I was one of the lucky few who could eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight because of how active I was.

When I was a teenager, I started a new medicine that made it difficult for me to gain weight. The medicine ended up causing me to lose weight. I didn’t notice the weight loss until my art teacher brought it to my attention.

My art teacher was a short, stout, woman with curly hair that she wore in a pixie-style haircut. She often wore quirky outfits, like denim overalls with wild prints and oversized earrings. She seemed kind on the surface, but she had very little patience for the students who lacked talent. She wanted our work to be perfect, so she rarely found beauty in imperfections.

It wasn’t unusual for her to crouch down at a student’s desk and comment on whatever project they were working on, so I didn’t find it odd when she came over to talk to me. Unfortunately, what she said was about my appearance instead of my art project.

“If you lose any more weight, I’m going to call your mother,” she said.

I was too shocked to respond, but that didn’t matter because she was gone before I could reply. I wondered if there was something wrong with my body. There must have been something wrong with me if my teacher took time out of her day to talk to me about it. Not only did she take time out of her day to comment on my body, she threatened to call my mother.

I spent the next few days looking in the mirror and wondering if I was too skinny. Was I unattractive because of my size? I wasn’t one of the more popular kids, and now I found myself wondering if my size had anything to do with it. I know now that my size had nothing to do with who I was as a person or who my friends were. I even realized that there was nothing wrong with my size, and the teacher shouldn’t have brought it to my attention.

Her words have stuck with me for years, even now that I’m no longer thin. If I could see her again, I would ask her why she felt it was appropriate to bring attention to my body in a negative way.

Now that I’m older I know that she would have approached me differently if she wanted to help me. She would have asked me about my weight loss in a gentle way, and not made me feel like there was something wrong with my body.