Is it Possible to Find Peace in a $3000 Tax Bill?

Let me not close my eyes because of this

It’s been a trying day for me.

As I mentioned last week, I had a mix-up with my “business”, where I (in retrospect) prematurely declared myself a corporation.

To top it off, I left myself as a C-corp ( Capital-C Corporation), instead of as S-corp as was my intent.

Now if you have a business, or are thinking of starting one, and have no earthly idea what I’m talking about, let me say that is probably a good thing.

Though I’m not an accountant or financial advisor, I would suggest not even thinking about these steps until you are rolling in money — or at least have enough to hire a bookkeeper.

So after getting everything straight with my account last week, I’ve been waiting with bated breath to see how bad the damage would be.

That call came today — and here is what she said.

Personal Taxes — owe $2,579

Corporate Tax Filing — $475

Personal tax Filing — $269

Ouch!

All the time I spent setting up payroll, tracking expenses, keeping track of unemployment and other fees, and the 400 dollars in annual fees to the state. That’s what I get.

And, then to make matters worse, our little guy, Sebastian went to the vet for a dental — and had to get 6 teeth pulled! (poor guy!)

Another $1300!!!

Immediately, these despairing thoughts began to wreak havoc with my peace of mind.

“ How do I tell my wife?”

“ Why did I think this would be a good idea?

“ How do I extract myself from this nightmare?”

A Slap in the Face

This whole episode reminded me of something. It’s very easy to talk about being” spiritual” when things are going smoothly. (or at least fairly smoothly) It’s easy to be happy and rejoice when your outlook is generally positive.

But it’s quite another thing when things seem to be going down the toilet. When you owe way more than you have, and prospects seem bleak at best.

It’s easy to despair when you know that people will be upset with you. Especially the ones you care about the most.

But life has a knack for doing this. Just when things are going swimmingly, life will rise up and slap you, punch you in the face, and demand that you take notice.

It will tempt you to believe what your senses tell you. To believe in the message of littleness and fear that the ego ascribes to you.

It will attempt to convince you of the reality of this world, with all its shiny things,/and things less shiny) its fabricated stories, and its many laws.

It will lure you back into sleep.

Only in the Light

The lessons I study from A Course in Miracles are so often weirdly applicable to what is going on in my life. It was once again true today.

Today’s Lesson was” Miracles are Seen in Light”. And the core message we are asked to repeat throughout the day is:

Let me not close my eyes because of this.

So perfect.

This is why it’s so important to have a spiritual practice - Something to rest upon, a place to find peace when the dream of the world threatens to disrupt yours.

I­t’s easy to be happy when it is sunny, 70 degrees, and the sky is scattered with fluffy clouds.

But it’s quite another to do so when it’s raining, or when it’s freezing and the snow is coming down fast and heavy, or when a tornado is approaching.

Yet, it is still as simple. And with the Holy Spirit as your guide, it is imminently possible.

Reality and Illusion

The reality of my situation is that nothing actually changed.

Only my awareness of it changed.

The day before, when I felt free and joyful, without a care in the world, with not a single negative thought, I still owed that money. Only my shifting perception caused the impulse to retreat in worry fear and despair.

But the good news is that this works in reverse just as truly.

Our future abundance is already set in stone. It is already there and has always been there.

And it is real.

“Real” real. Not like the unreal things of the world, which will bind you and imprison you if you let them. If you believe in them.

So today, stand up tall, with the Holy Spirit as your guide.

Ask him to show you the light. Ask him for the way to peace.

Ask him to not let this — this person, this situation, this darkness — close your eyes to the truth.

And by His divine grace…

You shall see the miracle in that light.

I Ask Only This

Let me not close my eyes due to this

Grant me Peace as I surrender

Grant me vision to see what is true

Let my salvation not be hindered

---

Lead me away from the darkness

Where I stumble about like a beggar

Where fear and hate rule the day

Where I would but attack my brother

-

Lead me forth to your blessed light

A peaceful land of milk and honey

Bring me over the rivers of tears

those of sorrow and despair that fill the lonely

-

Bring my soul to that holiest place

where self meets Self, where strength unites

where my weakness fades from view

where darkness leaves, replaced by sight

-

Let me not close my eyes due to this

Grant me Peace-I have surrendered

I only want to know what is true

I am loved — I have remembered

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Hello, I’m Aaron! I write stories and poems about spiritual growth and personal development. I invite you to be a part of my journey of self-discovery and search for truth.

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