The Forever Party
What happened when the honeymoon ended.
“Hey, Ralph, did you see that? I fell over, but I didn’t spill one drop of my beer. Guess I’m not that drunk after all.”
“Oh, you’re that drunk all right, Norton. You just can’t stand the thought of wasting a single drop of beer. At least you’re not puking your guts out on my floor like Amos over there. Man, I hope you plan on cleaning that disgusting mess up, Amos.”
“Stop complaining, Ralph. This floor is so nasty my feet stick to it every time I walk to get another beer. My barf improves its condition.”
“Ya, Ralph, I’m still lying on the floor because my back is stuck to it. Even after this pandemic is over, we won’t be able to leave because we’ll be stuck on this nasty damn floor. Speaking of leaving, I thought this quarantine was only going to last for a day or so. Don’t you think we should have heard something by now? Is your radio as messed up as this floor?”
“If you two don’t like the accommodations, you’re welcome to go back out into the germ-infested world. Nothing’s been broadcast so far, giving the all clear and I’m not sure I’d believe it even if an all clear is given. Just before we came down here, Alice said there had been a lot of conspiracies going around. Some rich bastards might have paid off someone in the government to give the all-clear because they want us to get sick and die. Then they can take over our property.”
“Damn, Ralph, you really are paranoid. If I were going to be suspicious about anyone, it would be about Alice and Norton’s wife, Trixie. When they locked us in here, they said it was for our own good and they’d be back soon. Well, that was over a year ago and they’re not back yet. Maybe she went to the moon on her own. I’m going to be sick again.”
“Don’t worry about it, Amos. Have another beer. It’s the one thing we never seem to run out of. Do you want another one, Norton?”
“Absolutely! I’ll drink it lying on the floor.”
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363 words. Just a silly story inspired by a diorama in my doctor's office and a throwback to The Honeymooners.
About the Creator
Mark Gagnon
I have spent most of my life traveling the US and abroad. Now it's time to create what I hope are interesting fictional stories.
I have 2 books on Amazon, Mitigating Circumstances and Short Stories for Open Minds.
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Over in a Minute
Our motor coach tour arrived in Bristol, England, around three in the afternoon. The sky was a deep blue, and the temperature had peaked at a comfortable seventy degrees Fahrenheit. From a tourist's point of view, everything about the day was picture-perfect. The city, located in the southern part of England, was resplendent with ancient and modern buildings interspersed with beautifully kept parks and public gardens. Its biggest attraction, seen from miles around, was the Clifton Suspension Bridge. It was the largest iron suspension bridge of its type when it was built, spanning the 702-foot width of the Avon Gorge. The bridge has been the scene of historic events and multiple suicides.
By Mark Gagnon29 days ago in Fiction
135 — Phase 1
"Know what your bitchy neighbor said, Joan?" Joan turned away from the stove. "No, Alexa. You mean Missy Hernandez?" "Who else!" Alexa said, displaying Missy's picture. "You know more than anyone the truth never catches up to the lies. She's told a doozy about you this time."
By Gerard DiLeo2 days ago in Fiction
Comments (9)
I loved the Honeymooners. “To the moon, Alice!” Great job!! 👏
I love this, so chuckley! Real characters bring it to life 😁
This was so humorous Mark! I alway enjoy your sense of humour!! Great story!
Very imaginative, Mark, with that bizarre picture as your inspiration.
So unique and humorous, Mark!!
Well, there goes my iced-tea. I always wondered how long before Alice and Trixie got even with their conniving husbands. Makes me wonder what Lucy and Ethel would have done during the pandemic!
Lol, I can see myself as Norton! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Loved your story, it was hilarious!
Mark, this is one hilarious take on the idiot male members from the Honeymooners trying to drink their way through a pandemic. This doctor of yours sure has a twisted sense of humor though!
I love it! Floor beer was hilarious! 🥸