June 15th

For the first time

in a very long time

I felt beautiful

truly beautiful

through and through

and it was such a pure feeling

that it kind of scared me

it made my heart race

in such a way

I thought it would burst

I had forgotten what it felt like

to define beauty based on me

and only me

not based on people's perceptions

and their judgments

and their definitions

and it's not like

anything had changed

I am still plus size

I still have zits

I still have stretch marks

decorating my skin

I still have hair

growing in places

I don't care for

I don't have perfect skin

I don't have a six-pack right now

and I probably never will

I don't have a perfectly

defined body

I don't have the

coveted model body

but for the first time

in a long time

I feel like

strutting my stuff

on the runway