Condemnation
This old house.
On my foundation, I begin to erode.
Descend into rubble, the humble abode.
Death and decay are what I envelope.
Paint peeling and damned to no hope.
One good wind would send me to my grave.
Condemned to die, your home I was made.
Author’s Note:
This poem was inspired by Poppy’s Prompts - May Edition.
About the Creator
Donna Fox (HKB)
Thank you for stopping by!! 💚💙💜🩵
If you are interested in longer works by me, I have two books published on Amazon.
Reader insights
Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
Top insight
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
Keep reading
More stories from Donna Fox (HKB) and writers in Poets and other communities.
Muses & Musings
Welcome to my new series, a weekly blog on what’s inspiring me. I spent much of last week in bed with a stomach bug. I’ll spare you the details of that—but in addition to the grotesque physical symptoms, I had some fever dreams I won’t soon forget. Imagine my surprise to see Vocal’s newest challenge: Write a fiction story about a recurring dream or nightmare.
By Davina Zinn McKee7 days ago in Journal
Comments (15)
Brilliant!!! Congratulations on the Leaderboard H M!°💕❤️❤️
I adore this so much
ayayay ms HKB, my favourite Canadian madwoman...this is beautiful...clever, but with so much feeling in so few words. As everyone else has said before me, you've done a marvellous and powerful job of giving life to a home...it moved me. Also...I am humbled that you felt this was a very, lol, Paulitical poem. I just think it's a very Foxical poem and brilliant because of that!
Powerful imagery. Dharr suggested I'd like your writing, and she's correct about that. Really enjoyed it.
I really like this poem… & will leave it at that! So many insightful comments… added to the fascinating read!
Like Dharrsheena, I also read this as a metaphor which kind of makes it even more heartbreaking I think. "Death and decay are what I envelope." That was especially hard hitting.
Oh wow. This was DEEP. The verses are giving the same rhythm as the prayer: "Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep; Please angels watch me through the night, And keep me safe till morning light." Not sure if you intended for it to have the same beat, but it's catchy and soothing to the ears :). I can't unhear it lol!
I feel this is much more than just about an old house. It felt like a metaphor for us humans after somebody we love leaves us to die from heartbreak. Just six lines but your poem hit so hard. It had so many layers and extremely profound! Loved your poem so much D!
Ohhhh the poor house-home/ Great job. ❣️
Oh wow. I'm feeling sorry for a building. So well done.
Very sad. That last line was heartbreaking.
You bundled this together very well. Great phrases.
How sad is this? Poor building once protected the family now gone. I really like how you gave life to an inanimate object.
“Condemned to die your home I was made” That one just jumped of the page at me Donna! I can’t quite express why but it was just the perfect line!
I'm imagining how we might honour our houses now. Reusing the parts I suppose?