Father, Aglow
a micro fiction story
When Susannah opens the door, I remember why I lost you. It was ages ago, decades. Hell, centuries for all it matters. The years as they stare at me are fresh and new in the light from the deck. It’s orange and blue, you across from me, radiating the fire I put behind you. I am not the sun. Was not. I’ll end just as blue as a corpse in snow.
You wanted me to ask, needed me to. I’ve stared at an empty sea ever since. I can still see you, you know?
Wow.
What a photographer you were.
A/N: I realized I never fulfilled a tag I received 7 months ago. Remember James & Oneg's Summer Writing Challenge Extravaganza? I was tagged in History by Mesh. Here is my 15 minute write-up, based on a photo I've had lingering in my docs for years. The photo is a central part of the story, not just a cover.
About the Creator
Mackenzie Davis
“When you are describing a shape, or sound, or tint, don’t state the matter plainly, but put it in a hint. And learn to look at all things with a sort of mental squint.” Lewis Carroll
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Copyright Mackenzie Davis.
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Comments (10)
This was beautiful, Mackenzie Simply beautiful I love the line about putting the fire behind someone, the idea that crossed my mind is that once the light is behind something, it's front is cast in shadow
Read this a couple of times Mackenzie, and it leaves me with so many questions. But that’s micro fiction right? Just a glimpse. No idea if I’m on-base or not, but this feels like the speaker is reminiscing of their lover from years ago, having possibly just seen them again? “You wanted me to ask, needed me to.” feels like one wanted a proposal and they didn’t act on it. Honestly, I have no idea haha, but as always, your use of imagery is striking.
I read this more as prose poetry than microfiction. It's wonderfully crafted. By whatever name, I find it beautifully done.
Very raw and very good!
This is beautiful work, Mackenzie! These lines were especially poignant to me: “ I am not the sun. Was not. I’ll end just as blue as a corpse in snow.” I feel that in my soul. Love your micro story!
"radiating the fire I put behind you. I am not the sun. Was not. I’ll end just as blue as a corpse in snow." And this is why we shouldn't pour from an empty up. I'm guilty of it as well. Loved your story!
I keep coming back to the fire, the agency in that line, and the sun, that seems to delegitimise that agency.
A great mini-exploration of a maximum photo.
One might even say this is picture perfect with a photo finish.
Such an interesting artsy photo, and you've done a great job with a story for it, Mackenzie!